And for cat-haters who also hate bagpipes:
Both from The Second Official I Hate Cats Book by Skip Morrow (published 1981).
I am not a cat hater, in fact I like cats (I like bagpipe music too), but this book is funny. My wife picked it up at a used book store yesterday. It took me only a few minutes to flip through, but I was laughing the whole time. I'll probably post more of them sometime when I run out of anything else to say.