My air horn goes BANG

LoHud.com:

"I don't think it's overkill," said Carrie Budke, who was picking up her 6-year-old daughter , Emma. "Right now screaming isn't helping. An air horn would scare any animal away — even a sick one."

Or in other words, if it doesn't work, do it LOUDER.

If a coyote is so sick--rabid--that the illness has overcome thousands of generations of instinct to avoid contact with humans...

I don't know which is more insane, a rabid coyote or a human who thinks an air horn will scare it away. Once again, I am stunned at the stupidity of these people. There is only one way to deal with a rabid animal. There is a loud noise involved, but it's only a side-effect.

LOLworthy

Some weapons are not meant to be used at close range.

When capitalism goes unregulated...*

Buy it at Amazon.

*It's satire, son, satire!

Standby time

Paid to do nothing - Federal news, government operations, agency management, pay & benefits - FederalTimes.com

The U.S. Postal Service, struggling with a massive deficit caused by plummeting mail volume, spends more than a million dollars each week to pay thousands of employees to sit in empty rooms and do nothing.

It’s a practice called “standby time,” and it has existed for years — but postal employees say it was rarely used until this year. Now, postal officials say, the agency is averaging about 45,000 hours of standby time every week — the equivalent of having 1,125 full-time employees sitting idle, at a cost of more than $50 million per year.

This is my favorite part...

Nor can supervisors require employees to brush up on their training. One mail handler in Pennsylvania said a supervisor used to force employees on standby time to read postal manuals.

“The local union shop filed a grievance against the Postal Service,” said the employee, who asked to remain anonymous because of concerns about retaliation. “We’re on standby time, not training time. Standby time is different. ... You can’t make people read training materials on standby time.”

Let's face it: Some people are just stupid

This post at Strange in San Antonio reminded me of this story from Italy that I heard mentioned on the news this morning.

The 26 year old, who has not been named, was traced by detectives after the owner of the house reported the crime.

Officers noticed the computer was still on and when the 52 year old owner touched the keyboard, the social network site's homepage flashed up.

The man, from Albano Laziale near Rome told police he was not a member, and they quickly realised the last person to use the computer had been the burglar.

He had written several messages on his wall - but not revealed he was carrying out a crime - and police were quickly able to trace him and recover cash and jewellery that had been taken.

Major Ivo Di Blasio, of the carabinieri paramilitary police, said:"He was tempted to log on during the break in and it led to his arrest - it was a silly mistake to make and we were onto him very quickly.

"The owner of the house had left the computer on and when the Facebook site flashed up on the screen we had the name of the burglar and we simply went to his house and arrested him, as well as recovering the goods.

"He did not expect us at all and was very surprised when we told him how we had tracked him down. He has a history of break-ins and will now go before a judge."

Oozies?

Oozies.

Stuff you don't need to make up

Sometimes it just writes itself:

An expedition team which set sail from Plymouth on a 5,000-mile carbon emission-free trip to Greenland have been rescued by an oil tanker.

[...]

The team, which left Mount Batten Marina in Plymouth on 19 April in a boat named the Fleur, aimed to rely on sail, solar and man power on a 580-mile (933km/h) journey to and from the highest point of the Greenland ice cap.

The expedition was followed by up to 40 schools across the UK to promote climate change awareness.

But atrocious weather dogged their journey after 27 April, culminating with the rescue on 1 May after the boat was temporarily capsized three times by the wind.

In one incident Mr Stoddart hit his head and the wind generator and solar panels were ripped from the yacht.

The only thing that could have made this better is if one them had been mauled by a dolphin.

Stupid people

Today I was working a route that required two people, so we had a company truck. After we finished our regular work, we had to run downtown to put a new meter lid on a box that was missing a lid. It was at a parking lot at 421 W. Market St.

Remember that address, it might help you if you ever have to park there.

Remember I said we were in the company truck, and of course we were wearing our work uniforms. We told the ticket booth guy that we just needed to get in for a minute to put a new lid on the meter box. He said we'd still have to pay. We explained to him again that who exactly we were and what exactly we needed to do, and that we wouldn't actually be parking, just putting a new lid on an open meter box. He shook his head and said that his manager would have to sign off on it if we wanted back out without paying.

So while my co-worker was replacing the lid, I ran down to the office and asked the manager if he'd sign the ticket so that we wouldn't have to pay for replacing the lid. He was very friendly and accommodating, and wrote on it to the effect that we didn't have to pay, signed his name, and told me the story about the meter box, which was still full of water from the rain several days ago. Apparently someone claimed their kid had stepped in it and "gone into water up to his chest." He said he didn't believe it, but it was still a safety hazard, and it was, of course. I told him the box couldn't be more than about 10 inches deep, so it would've had to have been a pretty short kid.

But anyway, I ran back out the parking lot and my partner had already popped the lid on and we were ready to go. We got back to the booth, handed the guy the ticket that the manager had signed, and he said, "Two dollars."

Well, we were already aggravated from having to run around replacing a lid, and this didn't help. My words were something like, "What the hell are you talking about? The manager already signed us out."

His reply: "Two dollars. You stayed past the grace period."

Me: "What grace period? We were in there for less than three minutes. You told me to get the manager to sign us out so we wouldn't have to pay, and that's exactly what I did. And now you're telling us to pay for parking, when we didn't actually park?" Except I'm not sure I was actually that polite. I was totally flabbergasted at him.

So he pulled out his trusty handie-talkie and after talking with someone (the manager, I assume) for about ten seconds he lifted the barricade and angrily motioned for us to leave.

********. You can fill those in with what ever you please.

Like I said, the manager was perfectly understanding and immediately gave us permission to leave without paying for parking. It was the idiot drone in the ticket booth who was obviously suffering from rectal-cranial inversion.

Happy Lenin's Birthday!

Earth Day predictions from 1970

“The world has been chilling sharply for about twenty years,” he declared. “If present trends continue, the world will be about four degrees colder for the global mean temperature in 1990, but eleven degrees colder in the year 2000. This is about twice what it would take to put us into an ice age.” — Kenneth Watt, Ecologist

Earth Day founder murdered his girlfriend

“One of the self-identified ‘founders’ of Earth Day, Bay Area activist John McConnell, has written that in 1969 he proposed to the San Francisco Board of Supervisors a new holiday to be called Earth Day on the first day of spring, the Equinox, around March 21. But, he writes, in 1970 local anti-Vietnam War and Environmental Teach-in activists ‘who were planning a one-time event for April 22, also decided to call their event Earth Day.’

“And what was this unnamed ‘one-time event’ in 1970? It was the 100th birthday celebration for Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov, known to history as Lenin…”

Let's hope they don't discover the gasoline-like smell next to the school bus refueling station

CHICAGO SUN-TIMES:

A North Side high school has been evacuated as a precaution after a chemical was found in the school Monday morning.

A Level 1 HazMat situation was called about 10:45 a.m. at Senn High School at 5900 N. Glenwood Ave., according to Fire Media Affairs spokesman Quention Curtis.

The school was evacuated as a precaution after a chemical believed to be chlorine was found near the pool, Curtis said.
No injuries have been reported but crews remain on the scene as of 11:05 a.m.

via A Trainwreck in Maxwell

Keeping Britain safe from silly parties

Not The Silly Party, but...just silly parties, in general.

Suspected Terrorists

A group of students had their 'Mad Scientist' party brought to an abrupt end when police mistook them for terrorists.

The private party, held in Hackney, north London, was organised by a group of friends dressed in white laboratory coats and wigs, who put on a display of theatrical 'experiments' to entertain guests.

But when police entered the building for a routine check in the early hours of Sunday morning, they discovered scientific debris and plastic skeletons and mistook it for terrorist paraphernalia or drug-making equipment.

Caretaker of the property, Richard Watson, 29, was arrested under The Anti-Terrorism Act and questioned while the entire area was evacuated and roads cordoned off with police tape.

He said: 'I was handcuffed and put in the back of the police van for over an hour while the bomb squad and drugs team came down.

'There was a ridiculous amount of police there. Every time I looked out of the van I could see a new group of them swarming around.'

Three fire engines and three ambulances were also called to the scene as Mr Watson was searched and interrogated.

[...]

'I brought down my childhood chemistry set and a few teddy bears for us to dissect in front of our friends. It was hilarious, we were making things fizz and pop and throwing talcum powder around. It was like a performance art piece.

'The police saw all the mess and assumed that we were making bombs which I thought was a bit presumptuous considering it had just been Halloween.'

I would consider it a "bit presumptious" for cops to enter private property for a "routine check."

Oh yeah, and...uh, speaking of Weird Science, you probably don't want to click this link. I'm serious, don't do it. Just forget I ever mentioned it. Oh no, you clicked it, didn't you?

Sigh...

And you just felt yourself die a little inside. I tried to warn you.

Cougars in Louisiana

Cryptomundo has the news that they were confirmed by trail cameras. But what is it with state game agencies and their treatment of cougars? They obviously have to live somewhere, but not here...

Although it is illegal to own a cougar in Louisiana, it is possible that there are some illegally held “pets” in the state. Anyone holding a captive cougar in Louisiana must have a permit issued by LDWF, as captive cougars may compromise public safety. LDWF may issue permits to existing owners in the state in order to reduce difficulties associated with determining the validity of reported cougar sightings.

No one said anything about owning a cougar, yet they have to mention it. Just to make sure they put that seed in your mind.

The only species of big cats that occur as black are the jaguar and leopard. Jaguars are native to South America and leopards are native to Africa. Both species can occur as spotted or black, although in both cases the spotted variety is much more common. Although the department receives numerous calls about “black panthers”, there has never been a documented case of a black cougar anywhere in North America.

Once again, no one mentioned black cougars. No one claimed this was a black cougar. So what's the point?

And finally...

The department receives many calls reporting sightings of cougars throughout Louisiana. The vast majority of these reports cannot be verified due to the very nature of a sighting. These animals can move through an area and leave little or no evidence to be found. Many of the calls are found to be cases of mistaken identity. Dog tracks make up the majority of the evidence submitted by those reporting cougar sightings. Other animals commonly mistaken for cougars are bobcats and house cats, usually seen from a distance or in varying shades of light.

The significant lack of physical evidence leads the department to conclude that Louisiana does not have an established, breeding population of cougars. In states that have verified small populations of cougars, physical evidence can readily be found in the form of tracks, cached deer kills, scat and road kills. The recent occurrences of cougars in Louisiana may be young animals dispersing from existing populations in west Texas. An expanding population in west Texas can produce dispersing individual cougars that move into suitable habitat in Louisiana. Young males are known to disperse from their birthplace and travel hundreds of miles seeking their own territories.

Yes, I mistake the common house cat for a cougar pretty much all the time, since I'm no animal expert and therefore a complete idiot.

Michigan blamed it on the Dakotas. And now Louisiana blames it on Texas. But no one wants to admit that cougars are pretty much everywhere.

Any excuse not to think

SatNav danger revealed: Navigation device blamed for causing 300,000 crashes - mirror.co.uk:

About 300,000 motorists have crashed because of a satnav, the Mirror has found.

Around 1.5 million drivers have suddenly veered dangerously or illegally in busy traffic while following its directions.

And five million have been sent the wrong way down a one-way street.

Katie Shephard of safety charity Brake warned lives were in danger and said: "Anyone buying a satnav must consider whether they can be safe on the road."

Campaigners fear many of the the 14 million users put lives in peril by slavishly following their instructions and also neglecting road safety.

One in 10 drivers with a satnav says following its instructions made them take a dangerous or illegal turn.

Twice as many blame the gadget for making them hesitate on a busy road and lose track of road traffic.

More than one in 50 - almost 300,000 drivers - say it has caused or nearly caused an accident.

Maggie Game of insurance giant Direct Line, which carried out the survey for the Mirror, warned: "If a satnav gives you an instruction that is likely to endanger other road users, ignore it.

I was not aware that satnavs held a gun to a driver's head and made them do anything.

Idiots.

via Wired

They should all be keelhauled

From BBC:

Richard Smith and Sharon Cooper from Stone in Staffordshire have postponed Morgan's sixth birthday while they await the outcome of their application.

Permission is required to fly anything other than national flags, a Stafford Borough Council spokesman said.

After a complaint the family were told they were in breach of planning laws.

The couple have paid £75 for the application.

"I wanted to show my friends the flag but now I've got to take my flag down and I'm sad," Morgan told BBC News.

The flag in question:

So congratulations to both the Staffordshire Borough Council and the complaining neighbors. You just taught a six-year-old boy why he should hate your overbearing, pompous nannyism. Maybe this will stop him from growing up to be just another serf.

Smoking marijuana inside coffee shops will still be legal in Holland

But not if it's mixed with tobacco. If it's mixed, you'll have to go outside.

Non-Violent Politically-Correct War

When I first saw this in a local area store yesterday, I thought it was satire. But they're serious. The object of the game is to lose all your cards. Because winning is bad, even in card games.

"The joker is the only armed card, but it loses every time." In your twisted imagination, buddy.

(No, I didn't buy it, although at only $4 I suppose it would make a nice collection of targets--except for the joker, which I would stick in my hatband).

Or a 12-gauge

The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals has said it backs the plan by Queensland state lawmaker Shane Knuth to launch "Toad Day Out," but only if the creatures are killed in a humane way, such as euthanizing them in a freezer.

"Obviously we're not idiots. We understand a lot people will be highly reluctant to fill their fridges and freezers with dying cane toads, but at the moment that is the only humane way that we can recommend," said Michael Beatty, the society's spokesman.

So let me get this straight. People are first supposed to catch these disgusting things. With their bare hands. And then stick them in the freezer--the same freezer where they need to keep food.

The RSPCA is collective insane. Stark, staring, ravingly insane.

I bet if you hit one those suckers with a 230-grain hollowpoint it would pop like a rancid canteloupe.

via Armed Canadian

Rule Five

A firearm is not a substitute for a cordless drill.

via Reformed Chicks Blabbing

French mayor threatens a fate worse than death

Reuters:

BORDEAUX, France (Reuters) - The mayor of a village in southwest France has threatened residents with severe punishment if they die, because there is no room left in the overcrowded cemetery to bury them.

In an ordinance posted in the council offices, Mayor Gerard Lalanne told the 260 residents of the village of Sarpourenx that "all persons not having a plot in the cemetery and wishing to be buried in Sarpourenx are forbidden from dying in the parish."

It added: "Offenders will be severely punished."

The mayor said he was forced to take drastic action after an administrative court in the nearby town of Pau ruled in January that the acquisition of adjoining private land to extend the cemetery would not be justified.

Lalanne, who celebrated his 70th birthday on Wednesday and is standing for election to a seventh term in this month's local elections, said he was sorry that there had not been a positive outcome to the dilemma.

"It may be a laughing matter for some, but not for me," he said.

U.K. starts the War On Water

Environmental nannyism decides what's moral and immoral:

Drinking bottled water should be made as unfashionable as smoking, according to a government adviser.

"We have to make people think that it's unfashionable just as we have with smoking. We need a similar campaign to convince people that this is wrong," said Tim Lang, the Government's naural resources commissioner.

Phil Woolas, the environment minister, added that the amount of money spent on mineral water "borders on being morally unacceptable".

Their comments come as new research shows that drinking a bottle of water has the same impact on the environment as driving a car for a kilometre. Conservation groups and water providers have started a campaign against the £2 billion industry.

A BBC Panorama documentary, "Bottled Water: Who Needs It?", to be broadcast tomorrow says that in terms of production, a litre bottle of Evian or Volvic generates up to 600 times more CO2 than a litre of tap water.

Water. Your body is 70% of it. If you don't drink it, you die. But they decide how you drink it, and they decide what to put into the government swill coming out of the tap.

via Samizdata