Friday, October 12, 2007


So today I bought myself a Mountain Dew so I'd have cold drink while waiting for the bus to drop off the kids. I took about two swallows and realized that something was horribly wrong. It was all I could do to keep from running around the parking lot shrieking, "The aftertaste! The aftertaste!" Instead, I steeled myself and trepidatiously inspected the label. It was as I feared.

I had purchased diet Mountain Dew by mistake.

I honestly don't know how people can stand to drink diet soft drinks. Every one I've ever accidentally sampled (this has happened before--the most notorious instance involving diet 7 Up), every one, I say, tastes like some kind of toxic by-product from a glue factory. With bubbles.

P.S. "Trepidatiously" is apparently not in the dictionary, but it should be.


  1. I'm with you my friend. And to all those who say they taste the same: What kind of drugs are you on 'cause they must be good.

    The worst part is the aftertaste. If I don't have anything available to adequately wash the vile abomination from my mouth, I'll be tasting it for an hour.

  2. Did you ever put an old penny in your mouth when you were a little kid? That's what the aftertaste of diet drinks tastes like to me.

  3. That's funny, I hadn't tasted a sugared soda in about 15 years and I recently took a gulp out of the wrong cup and my face about caved in from the taste.

    I can't believe I used to drink regular :)

  4. Diet soda = 100% artificial stuff. There is not one single component in diet soda that is meant to be consumed by a human.

    What I find hilarious is diet tea. I mean, WTF. Why put artificial sweetener in tea? It's either regular (sweet) or unsweetened. It is sometimes very hard to find unsweetened tea in a convenience store.

  5. Bwaaahaha! The penny comment was on the money...and yes, diet soft drinks are good for absolutely nothing. I've heard diet Dr Pepper is pretty good, though I've never tried it.