Gone

For as long as I can remember, 40+ years now, things have disappeared around me, never to be seen again. Sometimes I thought I was going crazy, but eventually I just came to accept that this is an unexplained phenomena. The most dramatic such incident, because my wife noticed it as well (which means I could finally say: see, I told you so. I'm not crazy), involved an electric space heater. Several years before our first child was born, it disappeared. I went through every cubic foot of the old house, emptied every closet, every cabinet, every box. It was gone. It was getting to be some cold weather, and my wife asked me why I hadn't gotten the heater out.

"It's gone," I said.

"What do you mean, gone?"

"Gone. Vanished. Disappeared. It no longer exists on this earth."

"That's crazy. It has to be here somewhere." So she did the same thing I can done, methodically going through the entire house just like I had, while I sat and inwardly laughed at her futile endeavor. Finally she told me, "It's gone."

When we sold the old house, I got to thinking that since we were going to completely empty that house, I would finally discover what ever happened to that heater. We would have to find it.

But we didn't, because it's gone.

A couple of months ago my dad gave my son and I similar, but not identical caps. They were both camouflage, with a picture of a buck deer on the front. My son's had a solid crown, mine had a mesh crown. I hung them on a hat rack in the bedroom, right next to my Alamo cap and my old camo hunting cap. I covered them all with a bandana to keep the dust off them, because I don't wear a cap very often.

And today, my new camo deer cap was gone. All the others are still there. I've spent several hours today going through the entire house, looking through all the drawers, all the closets, all the cabinets. But it's no use, because it's gone.

My wife said, "But there were three camouflage caps hanging there. I just saw them."

"Exactly," I said. "That's because that's where I put them. But it's gone now."

She just shrugged and sat down to watch TV. She knows there's no point even trying to look for it. It's gone.