A little story

This post at Strange in San Antonio reminds me of a little story I could tell.

Back in the days of my previous job, when I was either reading gas & electric meters for the S.A. company who provides those utilities, or dropping off final cut-off notices for people who didn't pay their bills, I had a notice for the Zachry company.  Every time I see one of their trucks these days I'm always reminded of this and smirk knowingly.

You might wonder why such a big company had a bill that was overdue enough to deserve such a notice.  Well, you might be surprised at who gets these notices sometimes.  I once delivered one to the AT&T Center for several thousand dollars.  I kept getting passed off from one person to another; no one wanted to accept the notice.  I knew that the Spurs were going to play the Lakers there that night, so finally I said, "Look, if this isn't taken care of, they're going to shut you down and you're not going to have any electricity tonight."  It was totally untrue, but I had to deliver 125 of those things every day and I was tired of their bullsh*t.  It was like I had kicked an anthill.  It didn't take them long after that to find someone who would accept the notice.

So anyway, back to the original story.  I took this notice to the Zachry company and they pulled the same trick.  No one wanted to take this thing from my hand.  I got fed up and just put the pink slip down on the nearest desk and started to walk out.  One of their goons yelled at me that I couldn't leave it there, and I simply said, "It's my job to leave it there."  His face got very dark and he said, "You don't wanna make Zachry mad at you, boy."  I involuntarily snorted and very short snort of laughter and then found myself replying, "What're you gonna do, pave my driveway bad?"

After a second or two of utter silence, he stomped away shouting "somebody take care of this."  I walked out, leaving the pink slip where I had already dropped it.  I guess they paid their bill.  I never got in trouble for my crass behavior.

So funny it's sad

First I want to make it clear that this is not a photoshop. This is an honest-to-Pete status update I recently saw at Facebook because I "liked" Tommy Shaw some time ago.

Because, well...you know.

Mirror

A couple of good humor sites

Just wanted to briefly mention a couple of sites that you may get some amusement from.  First, Literally Unbelievable posts screen shots of Facebook status updates in which the indignant Facebooker believes a satirical article from The Onion is real; also included are the follow-up comments.

And, an associated site is Least Helpful:  The Internet's Worst Reviewers.  This one posts screen shots of moronic reviews at Amazon.com.

I've been getting some laughs from them lately, so check them out.

A lime from Haiti

A Facebook friend of mine recently went on a mission trip to Haiti and posted this picture of a lime from there.  She said the rind is very thick so the internal fruit is only about the same size as a lime that we're used to buying here in a grocery store.  Must be a real bugger to slice.

We are Pirates

Here's something for Talk Like a Pirate Day.


Orden Ogan is one of the many metal bands I have learned about in the past months when I began getting more into symphonic, progressive and folk metal. Their music has both progressive and folk metal elements with lots of vocal harmonies, which is something that always catches my ear. This song was originally recorded by Running Wild, who are the band who created pirate metal.

Vampires (the real kind)

Vampire bats near Johnson City.  At the KSAT website.  Vampires don't normally range this far north.  Imagine the horror if he had awakened during the night to see himself and his friends with bats crawling all over them.  Yikes.

A street lamp

Here's a work pic that I took a couple of weeks ago.  I thought it turned out fairly well for a phone shot, so I also put it on my photo blog.  I can't say that "like" is the correct word, but I think it wouldn't be inaccurate to say that I was drawn to the conflict between the paved street, the electric lamp post, and the otherwise brushy and untamed look of the surroundings.

It just now occurred to me that I have never driven up and looked over the top of that hill.  I know my mental illusion of this scene would be destroyed if I did, because I would probably be able to see Bass Pro Shops in the distance.  This is from a part of The Dominion that has not been fully "developed."

An imagined conversation

Scene:  a smoke-filled backroom somewhere in San Antonio, Texas.  A highway planning session is in its concluding moments.

Boss:  So there you have it.  Any questions, comments, concerns?

Jenkins*:  Sir...what about the northbound exit?

Boss (imperiously):  What?

Jenkins (clears throat nervously):  It's just that...sir...what about the people who want to go from Basse Road to northbound 281?  There's no exit for them.

Boss (leaning forward ominously):  Let me tell you exactly what I think of people who want to go from Basse Road to 281 north:  Every single damned one of them can go straight to hell.  Do we understand each other?

Jenkins (meekly):  Yes, sir.

Boss:  And one more thing, Jenkins.  I want you to make sure there are at least two directional signs pointing the way to 281 north that will cause all traffic following them to turn too early.  The process for getting from Basse to 281 north is going to be an absolute clusterf*ck.  See to it.

Jenkins:  Yes, sir.


*Because Jenkins is my favorite name for a generic workplace flunkie.

Billy Edd Wheeler - Gabriel's Horn

A few months ago, I had written about a song I vaguely remembered from my childhood. It was the one about a country preacher who end all of his sermons with this thing about almost being able to hear Gabriel's horn, and a little boy named Leon Rose who "climbed up in the hot church attic" with his bugle just to play a practical joke on the preacher. An anonymous commenter left me the information I was hoping for, and here it is.


It turns out that a 2 CD compilation was released just last year with a whole bunch of Wheeler's stuff called Country Essentials. Nice.