This post at Strange in San Antonio reminds me of a little story I could tell.
Back in the days of my previous job, when I was either reading gas & electric meters for the S.A. company who provides those utilities, or dropping off final cut-off notices for people who didn't pay their bills, I had a notice for the Zachry company. Every time I see one of their trucks these days I'm always reminded of this and smirk knowingly.
You might wonder why such a big company had a bill that was overdue enough to deserve such a notice. Well, you might be surprised at who gets these notices sometimes. I once delivered one to the AT&T Center for several thousand dollars. I kept getting passed off from one person to another; no one wanted to accept the notice. I knew that the Spurs were going to play the Lakers there that night, so finally I said, "Look, if this isn't taken care of, they're going to shut you down and you're not going to have any electricity tonight." It was totally untrue, but I had to deliver 125 of those things every day and I was tired of their bullsh*t. It was like I had kicked an anthill. It didn't take them long after that to find someone who would accept the notice.
So anyway, back to the original story. I took this notice to the Zachry company and they pulled the same trick. No one wanted to take this thing from my hand. I got fed up and just put the pink slip down on the nearest desk and started to walk out. One of their goons yelled at me that I couldn't leave it there, and I simply said, "It's my job to leave it there." His face got very dark and he said, "You don't wanna make Zachry mad at you, boy." I involuntarily snorted and very short snort of laughter and then found myself replying, "What're you gonna do, pave my driveway bad?"
After a second or two of utter silence, he stomped away shouting "somebody take care of this." I walked out, leaving the pink slip where I had already dropped it. I guess they paid their bill. I never got in trouble for my crass behavior.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Sunday, September 23, 2012
So funny it's sad
First I want to make it clear that this is not a photoshop. This is an honest-to-Pete status update I recently saw at Facebook because I "liked" Tommy Shaw some time ago.
Because, well...you know.
Because, well...you know.
Friday, September 21, 2012
Thursday, September 20, 2012
A couple of good humor sites
Just wanted to briefly mention a couple of sites that you may get some amusement from. First, Literally Unbelievable posts screen shots of Facebook status updates in which the indignant Facebooker believes a satirical article from The Onion is real; also included are the follow-up comments.
And, an associated site is Least Helpful: The Internet's Worst Reviewers. This one posts screen shots of moronic reviews at Amazon.com.
I've been getting some laughs from them lately, so check them out.
And, an associated site is Least Helpful: The Internet's Worst Reviewers. This one posts screen shots of moronic reviews at Amazon.com.
I've been getting some laughs from them lately, so check them out.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
A lime from Haiti
A Facebook friend of mine recently went on a mission trip to Haiti and posted this picture of a lime from there. She said the rind is very thick so the internal fruit is only about the same size as a lime that we're used to buying here in a grocery store. Must be a real bugger to slice.
We are Pirates
Here's something for Talk Like a Pirate Day.
Orden Ogan is one of the many metal bands I have learned about in the past months when I began getting more into symphonic, progressive and folk metal. Their music has both progressive and folk metal elements with lots of vocal harmonies, which is something that always catches my ear. This song was originally recorded by Running Wild, who are the band who created pirate metal.
Orden Ogan is one of the many metal bands I have learned about in the past months when I began getting more into symphonic, progressive and folk metal. Their music has both progressive and folk metal elements with lots of vocal harmonies, which is something that always catches my ear. This song was originally recorded by Running Wild, who are the band who created pirate metal.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Vampires (the real kind)
Vampire bats near Johnson City. At the KSAT website. Vampires don't normally range this far north. Imagine the horror if he had awakened during the night to see himself and his friends with bats crawling all over them. Yikes.
Saturday, September 15, 2012
A street lamp
Here's a work pic that I took a couple of weeks ago. I thought it turned out fairly well for a phone shot, so I also put it on my photo blog. I can't say that "like" is the correct word, but I think it wouldn't be inaccurate to say that I was drawn to the conflict between the paved street, the electric lamp post, and the otherwise brushy and untamed look of the surroundings.
It just now occurred to me that I have never driven up and looked over the top of that hill. I know my mental illusion of this scene would be destroyed if I did, because I would probably be able to see Bass Pro Shops in the distance. This is from a part of The Dominion that has not been fully "developed."
Thursday, September 06, 2012
An imagined conversation
Scene: a smoke-filled backroom somewhere in San Antonio, Texas. A highway planning session is in its concluding moments.
Boss: So there you have it. Any questions, comments, concerns?
Jenkins*: Sir...what about the northbound exit?
Boss (imperiously): What?
Jenkins (clears throat nervously): It's just that...sir...what about the people who want to go from Basse Road to northbound 281? There's no exit for them.
Boss (leaning forward ominously): Let me tell you exactly what I think of people who want to go from Basse Road to 281 north: Every single damned one of them can go straight to hell. Do we understand each other?
Jenkins (meekly): Yes, sir.
Boss: And one more thing, Jenkins. I want you to make sure there are at least two directional signs pointing the way to 281 north that will cause all traffic following them to turn too early. The process for getting from Basse to 281 north is going to be an absolute clusterf*ck. See to it.
Jenkins: Yes, sir.
*Because Jenkins is my favorite name for a generic workplace flunkie.
Boss: So there you have it. Any questions, comments, concerns?
Jenkins*: Sir...what about the northbound exit?
Boss (imperiously): What?
Jenkins (clears throat nervously): It's just that...sir...what about the people who want to go from Basse Road to northbound 281? There's no exit for them.
Boss (leaning forward ominously): Let me tell you exactly what I think of people who want to go from Basse Road to 281 north: Every single damned one of them can go straight to hell. Do we understand each other?
Jenkins (meekly): Yes, sir.
Boss: And one more thing, Jenkins. I want you to make sure there are at least two directional signs pointing the way to 281 north that will cause all traffic following them to turn too early. The process for getting from Basse to 281 north is going to be an absolute clusterf*ck. See to it.
Jenkins: Yes, sir.
*Because Jenkins is my favorite name for a generic workplace flunkie.
Sunday, September 02, 2012
Billy Edd Wheeler - Gabriel's Horn
A few months ago, I had written about a song I vaguely remembered from my childhood. It was the one about a country preacher who end all of his sermons with this thing about almost being able to hear Gabriel's horn, and a little boy named Leon Rose who "climbed up in the hot church attic" with his bugle just to play a practical joke on the preacher. An anonymous commenter left me the information I was hoping for, and here it is.
It turns out that a 2 CD compilation was released just last year with a whole bunch of Wheeler's stuff called Country Essentials. Nice.
It turns out that a 2 CD compilation was released just last year with a whole bunch of Wheeler's stuff called Country Essentials. Nice.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Hilarious
I just gotta share this one: 10 Photos Capturing Moments of Spontaneous Badassery. #1 had me laughing until I had tears in my eyes.
Friday, August 24, 2012
A strange and interesting experience today
I was working on the west side today, in that area where all those long, straight streets named San something run off of Culebra. I got to one place that looked like someone had combined two lots; there was a house close to the street and, off to the side and set back from the street, a second building that didn't look exactly look like a house. Indeed, this place had two meters, probably from back in the days when it was two separate lots, and I missed one of them so I had to go back and look for it. A couple of guys who were outside noticed and came over to say hello. One of them told the other to get me a glass of cold water and he sprinted away to get it.
It turned out that I had stumbled across one of the "Outcry in the Barrio" locations. According to their Facebook page, their main HQ is somewhere on SW 38th, so I guess this was one of the branch locations or whatever they call them. You can't work in the streets like I do without having learned something about this movement, or church, or whatever it is. I had already run into a few of their guys before, but usually they would just nervously hand me a pamphlet and hurry away. Not these two. They were fervent and zealous.
So this one guy began telling me the story of the "Outcry" thing in general and his personal story in particular. Pretty soon the other guy got back with my glass of iced water and he added his own story into the mix. And then they asked if it would be okay if they said a prayer for me. "Sure," I said. I didn't realize that they meant right then and there.
Now, in the Christian church with which I am most familiar, a group prayer is usually "led" by a single person who speaks aloud while everyone else prays silently. These two guys weren't having none of that. When they started, they took off. Heads bowed, speaking clearly and loudly, as fast as they could go. And they weren't just reciting something from memory. They were making it up as they went along, speaking specifically about me and my job (they had asked my name so they could use it in the prayer), and they were both saying different things. I tried to hear all they were saying, but it was like having two songs pumped into different stereo channels and they were going so fast I could barely understand anything. The most amazing part was when they somehow managed to both finish at the same time. I had to wonder if they do this in large groups. What a cacophony it would be to have 100 people doing this all at one time. I must say I would love to hear it!
And they gave me their book that tells all about their founder's life and how he got it all started. I do intend to read it.
So it was strange, but kinda cool too.
It turned out that I had stumbled across one of the "Outcry in the Barrio" locations. According to their Facebook page, their main HQ is somewhere on SW 38th, so I guess this was one of the branch locations or whatever they call them. You can't work in the streets like I do without having learned something about this movement, or church, or whatever it is. I had already run into a few of their guys before, but usually they would just nervously hand me a pamphlet and hurry away. Not these two. They were fervent and zealous.
So this one guy began telling me the story of the "Outcry" thing in general and his personal story in particular. Pretty soon the other guy got back with my glass of iced water and he added his own story into the mix. And then they asked if it would be okay if they said a prayer for me. "Sure," I said. I didn't realize that they meant right then and there.
Now, in the Christian church with which I am most familiar, a group prayer is usually "led" by a single person who speaks aloud while everyone else prays silently. These two guys weren't having none of that. When they started, they took off. Heads bowed, speaking clearly and loudly, as fast as they could go. And they weren't just reciting something from memory. They were making it up as they went along, speaking specifically about me and my job (they had asked my name so they could use it in the prayer), and they were both saying different things. I tried to hear all they were saying, but it was like having two songs pumped into different stereo channels and they were going so fast I could barely understand anything. The most amazing part was when they somehow managed to both finish at the same time. I had to wonder if they do this in large groups. What a cacophony it would be to have 100 people doing this all at one time. I must say I would love to hear it!
And they gave me their book that tells all about their founder's life and how he got it all started. I do intend to read it.
So it was strange, but kinda cool too.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Quick movie review
Cowboys & Aliens (2011). So I just watched this tonight and thought it was pretty good. Not something that really breaks any new ground or has any life-changing message, just a good flick. So if you haven't seen it yet, I'll try to avoid any spoilers.
It's a mix, or mash-up, or whatever they call it these days, of two genres: western and sci-fi. There are several familiar western tropes that will give it the feel of many other westerns you've seen: an outlaw trying to go good, an evil cattle baron and his family of bullies who dominate a poverty-stricken town, a meek bartender (who, in this case, is also the town's doctor), a washed-out gold mine, etc.
It turns out that there also extra-terrestrials in the area, and they aren't the friendly kind. They're the kind that kill anyone and destroy anything that gets in their way, pretty much like the aliens from "Independence Day." So there's a collision of realities between the extremely advanced aliens and humans from 1873 who have a hard time wrapping their heads around what the aliens really are.
It gets a little too feel-goody toward the end for my taste, but I guess you can't have everything. I still say it's worth spending two hours on.
As for the guns. I never heard anyone say the specific year during the movie; the best I could guess was that it was in the late 1860s or early 1870s, not long after the Civil War. According to the official movie information, it was set in 1873. Almost all the handguns I saw were cap-and-ball revolvers (a wide variety and I am not skilled enough to identify them all), which would be appropriate for this time period--the Colt Peacemaker (the stereotypical western movie handgun) didn't actually begin production until 1873, so it would be unlikely that anyone in this isolated frontier town would have one. I did notice one Schofield revolver (which used a cartridge), which began production in 1870 and therefore is not an unreasonable handgun for 1873. Long guns appeared to be mostly Henry rifles and maybe a few early Winchesters--nothing that was out of place (or rather, out of time). The only specifically named firearm in the movie, which I recognized as correct, was the Spencer .56. The Spencer (in case you don't know) was a cartridge-fed repeating rifle that began production in 1860 and there should have still been plenty to go around by 1873. So, to the best of my knowledge, all the guns were correct! One thing I especially liked was that the Spencer was the only gun they had that was capable of dropping an alien with a single shot--as long as it was a head shot. The Spencer fired a very heavy 350-grain bullet, which to the best of my knowledge had a muzzle energy of almost twice any of the other rifles they had (which would have all been .44s of different sorts), and vastly more energy than any of the revolvers. So the effectiveness of the Spencer made a lot of sense, in my opinion.
Some people always have something to say about the casting, but that's not something really ever interests me very much. I was surprised to learn that the star was the same guy who's played the latest James Bond, and I think he played a very good western movie tough guy. There's even an obligatory Carradine (Keith). I must say that I am not looking forward to the day when a western movie is being made and there are no Carradines left to put in it. Oh yeah, Harrison Ford is in it. He played the cattle baron. I think this is the first time I've seen him play a total bastard* and he was pretty good at it.**
So, in conclusion, if you haven't seen it, check it out.
*Saying anything more about his character would be a spoiler, so that's all you get.
** Has Harrison Ford made any other westerns besides this and The Frisco Kid?
It's a mix, or mash-up, or whatever they call it these days, of two genres: western and sci-fi. There are several familiar western tropes that will give it the feel of many other westerns you've seen: an outlaw trying to go good, an evil cattle baron and his family of bullies who dominate a poverty-stricken town, a meek bartender (who, in this case, is also the town's doctor), a washed-out gold mine, etc.
It turns out that there also extra-terrestrials in the area, and they aren't the friendly kind. They're the kind that kill anyone and destroy anything that gets in their way, pretty much like the aliens from "Independence Day." So there's a collision of realities between the extremely advanced aliens and humans from 1873 who have a hard time wrapping their heads around what the aliens really are.
It gets a little too feel-goody toward the end for my taste, but I guess you can't have everything. I still say it's worth spending two hours on.
As for the guns. I never heard anyone say the specific year during the movie; the best I could guess was that it was in the late 1860s or early 1870s, not long after the Civil War. According to the official movie information, it was set in 1873. Almost all the handguns I saw were cap-and-ball revolvers (a wide variety and I am not skilled enough to identify them all), which would be appropriate for this time period--the Colt Peacemaker (the stereotypical western movie handgun) didn't actually begin production until 1873, so it would be unlikely that anyone in this isolated frontier town would have one. I did notice one Schofield revolver (which used a cartridge), which began production in 1870 and therefore is not an unreasonable handgun for 1873. Long guns appeared to be mostly Henry rifles and maybe a few early Winchesters--nothing that was out of place (or rather, out of time). The only specifically named firearm in the movie, which I recognized as correct, was the Spencer .56. The Spencer (in case you don't know) was a cartridge-fed repeating rifle that began production in 1860 and there should have still been plenty to go around by 1873. So, to the best of my knowledge, all the guns were correct! One thing I especially liked was that the Spencer was the only gun they had that was capable of dropping an alien with a single shot--as long as it was a head shot. The Spencer fired a very heavy 350-grain bullet, which to the best of my knowledge had a muzzle energy of almost twice any of the other rifles they had (which would have all been .44s of different sorts), and vastly more energy than any of the revolvers. So the effectiveness of the Spencer made a lot of sense, in my opinion.
Some people always have something to say about the casting, but that's not something really ever interests me very much. I was surprised to learn that the star was the same guy who's played the latest James Bond, and I think he played a very good western movie tough guy. There's even an obligatory Carradine (Keith). I must say that I am not looking forward to the day when a western movie is being made and there are no Carradines left to put in it. Oh yeah, Harrison Ford is in it. He played the cattle baron. I think this is the first time I've seen him play a total bastard* and he was pretty good at it.**
So, in conclusion, if you haven't seen it, check it out.
*Saying anything more about his character would be a spoiler, so that's all you get.
** Has Harrison Ford made any other westerns besides this and The Frisco Kid?
Monday, August 20, 2012
More meter weirdness
Today on my regular cycle 17, which covers a huge swath of ground roughly bordered by E. Southcross, S. Presa, S.E. Military, Roosevelt and Mission Road, I had a new meter-- a niner, which term I've explained before. It had the address of 1130 E. Southcross, which to the best of my guesses, should have been somewhere right about where that blue dot is on the map below.
There is a new access point for the Riverwalk extension right about there, and I've had several new meters in the past months because of this new Riverwalk construction, so I figured I had found the right spot. I got out (this is an all-motor route--which means I was driving the whole time) and walked around and saw no fresh water facilities that would require a new meter. This one has no water fountains or restrooms like some of them do, only purple-lidded irrigation control boxes here and there. Purple means recycled water. Which reminds me of another question I've been wondering about: where in the heck are the recycled water meters that supply all this irrigation? I have no idea. Anyway, I couldn't find a meter here so I called in for tap measurements, and for extra help, I also asked for the customer name.
The customer was the San Antonio River Authority, so I figured that it had to be something to do with the Riverwalk extension. The tap measurement, however, added a new twist. The description I got was, "between VFW Blvd. and Aquarius next to the San Antonio River."
Right about here I uttered a quiet WTF?
So I drove back around to VFW Blvd., which I thought I had already finished with, and after a couple of passes discovered a new meter right about where that red dot is.
So I checked the meter number and, sure enough, it was the meter I was looking for. Tapped at the corner of VFW and Mission Parkway, quite a long way away from E. Southcross. My WTF? still stands.
This route has always had strange things going on with it. I could probably start a whole blog just about this route. That's how bad it is. Maybe sometime I'll tell the story about the new meters at what they eventually decided should be 623 E. Bonner.
There is a new access point for the Riverwalk extension right about there, and I've had several new meters in the past months because of this new Riverwalk construction, so I figured I had found the right spot. I got out (this is an all-motor route--which means I was driving the whole time) and walked around and saw no fresh water facilities that would require a new meter. This one has no water fountains or restrooms like some of them do, only purple-lidded irrigation control boxes here and there. Purple means recycled water. Which reminds me of another question I've been wondering about: where in the heck are the recycled water meters that supply all this irrigation? I have no idea. Anyway, I couldn't find a meter here so I called in for tap measurements, and for extra help, I also asked for the customer name.
The customer was the San Antonio River Authority, so I figured that it had to be something to do with the Riverwalk extension. The tap measurement, however, added a new twist. The description I got was, "between VFW Blvd. and Aquarius next to the San Antonio River."
Right about here I uttered a quiet WTF?
So I drove back around to VFW Blvd., which I thought I had already finished with, and after a couple of passes discovered a new meter right about where that red dot is.
So I checked the meter number and, sure enough, it was the meter I was looking for. Tapped at the corner of VFW and Mission Parkway, quite a long way away from E. Southcross. My WTF? still stands.
This route has always had strange things going on with it. I could probably start a whole blog just about this route. That's how bad it is. Maybe sometime I'll tell the story about the new meters at what they eventually decided should be 623 E. Bonner.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Humor?
Does anyone else see anything funny in this? Not funny strange, but funny ha-ha. I actually laughed out loud when I read this. If anyone wants to take a stab at what I thought was funny about it, leave a comment. If no one gets it, or if no one cares, I'll update with the answer in a day or two.
UPDATE: As I said in comments, Brer was correct. A joke is never funny if you have to explain it, but maybe these pictures will help.
Band of Horses
The Beach Boys
Fleet Foxes
Isaac Watts
UPDATE 2: Here's the review I posted at Amazon.com.
Sunday, August 12, 2012
just a comment
I found this article at Snopes interesting: Guitar Man.
Back in the 80s when I was an aspiring keyboardist, I would go to Hastings sometimes and buy the piano score books to albums and groups that I liked. One of the books I bought was for Styx's Paradise Theater. Remember the beginning of the song "Snowblind"? It has a bass line with a sort of arpeggiated keyboard riff over it. I tried and tried to get the hang of that piece, but never could. I didn't seem to have enough hands.
Then one day I bought a video of them in concert, and they played that song. The bass part, of course, was played by Chuck Panozzo on his bass guitar. The keyboard part was, of course, being played by Dennis De Young on a synthesizer.
"WTF?!" I thought. "This part takes TWO professional musicians to play and I'm supposed to play both parts myself?!"
I did learn to play "The Best of Times" and could crash through "Half Penny, Two Penny" fairly well, but did I ever master "Snowblind"? Nope.
Back in the 80s when I was an aspiring keyboardist, I would go to Hastings sometimes and buy the piano score books to albums and groups that I liked. One of the books I bought was for Styx's Paradise Theater. Remember the beginning of the song "Snowblind"? It has a bass line with a sort of arpeggiated keyboard riff over it. I tried and tried to get the hang of that piece, but never could. I didn't seem to have enough hands.
Then one day I bought a video of them in concert, and they played that song. The bass part, of course, was played by Chuck Panozzo on his bass guitar. The keyboard part was, of course, being played by Dennis De Young on a synthesizer.
"WTF?!" I thought. "This part takes TWO professional musicians to play and I'm supposed to play both parts myself?!"
I did learn to play "The Best of Times" and could crash through "Half Penny, Two Penny" fairly well, but did I ever master "Snowblind"? Nope.
But even worse: the repetitive downward key change
I hate to post so much on this because people might think I'm suddenly back to frequent posting again, and that just ain't so, but this song frikkin' drives me nuts. Same goes for "I've Seen All Good People" by Yes.
In reference to the previous post
Here is a pertinent website: The Truck Driver's Gear Change Hall of Shame. Even if you didn't know what I was talking about in the last post, spend a while on this site and you will understand fully.
Although, I do have some quibble with their name. It was obviously coined by someone who is unfamiliar with shifting a big rig. In fact, several people I have run into have commented on a loud noise made by a truck, saying that they were down-shifting, when in fact it was only the driver turning on his unmuffled jake brakes. I hear trucks doing this all the time on IH35 in downtown S.A. and lemme tell ya, there is simply no excuse for this in the flatlands. It's just laziness and bad driving.
Although, I do have some quibble with their name. It was obviously coined by someone who is unfamiliar with shifting a big rig. In fact, several people I have run into have commented on a loud noise made by a truck, saying that they were down-shifting, when in fact it was only the driver turning on his unmuffled jake brakes. I hear trucks doing this all the time on IH35 in downtown S.A. and lemme tell ya, there is simply no excuse for this in the flatlands. It's just laziness and bad driving.
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