Zapata's arsenal consists of a nine-millimeter handgun and a Smith & Wesson .357 Magnum, the hand-held howitzer popularized by Clint Eastwood's Dirty Harry character.Can't these guys even pay attention to movies? Everyone knows it was a .44 Magnum, doofus.
Sarcastic & condescending, I say? Read this excerpt and decide for yourself:
How do you get a license?It's nice to know that my own S&W .357 is a hand-held howitzer. That means I should be able to demolish a house from several miles away. It's this kind of language that makes me immediately discount said person's opinion as meaningless. Just try, Francisco, to get your facts straight before gracing us with your boundless wit.
First, you'll have to submit an application to the state Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services, which is charged with the constitutional duty of arming Florida's citizenry. But handling a concealed firearm is like downing twenty shots of José Cuervo tequila: With great power comes great responsibility. So you have to be at least 21 years old to apply for one. You'll have to drop $75 the first time you apply for the license, which runs for five years, and an additional $42 for fingerprint processing. You'll have to fork over another $70 each time you renew it. You must provide your full name, address, place and date of birth, and occupation. If you're pimping hoes or selling crack in the Magic City, just write down "entrepreneur." But always remember that state licensing officials use your fingerprints to run Florida Department of Law Enforcement and FBI criminal background checks on you. So if you're one of Miami's many convicted felons, celebrity or otherwise, you're scarred because the state will not issue you a license. The state will also deny a license if you have been committed to an insane asylum, sent to a drug rehab clinic, or convicted on a drug-related misdemeanor within the last three years from the date of your application.
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