Sometimes I wake up early in the morning and have a hard time getting back to sleep. When I do eventually fall asleep, it's not normal sleep. This is when I have my most vivid and weirdest dreams. Weirdest, because there is a certain level of reality within them that make them seem like they could actually happen.
So I was at this new school, looking for a new meter that no one had yet found. A road wound around the perimeter of the campus, and I was driving slowly around it looking for the meter. I saw several boxes but when I stopped to check, there were no meters in them. Eventually I came to the far back corner where there was a large fenced-in area with a small office at the gate. I got out and went into the office. Inside was a weird-looking older hippyish woman. I told her I was looking for a new meter and asked if I could walk around in the fenced area to look for it. "Oh sure," she said, "I'll go with you."
Inside the big pen I saw some weird deer with really long, curly red hair. "Whoa," I said, "I've never seen deer like that before."
"Those are red deer," she said. "That's where we get paraffin from."
"I thought paraffin was a petroleum by-product," I said.
"No," she answered shortly.
There was a few cows in the pen. And then I stopped abruptly when I saw...
"You have a moose in here?!"
"Oh sure," she said. "A moose...there's a bear lying in the shade under those trees over there...and there's a mountain lion in here somewhere."
"Somewhere?! Are you &^%$#@! crazy? You have a bear and a mountain lion at a school with a bunch of little kids running around?"
"Oh, they won't hurt anyone," she said. "They're just like big pets."
"Screw this," I said, "somebody else can find that $#@! meter."
One of the cows stalked me all the way back to the gate.
Awesome! In dreams, everything makes so much sense to everyone else but you.
ReplyDeleteDamn stalking cow!
Uh, Alan, anything else you been putting in your pipe and not telling us about...? ;)
ReplyDelete