I hate saying "it's a well-known fact" because I've learned that most "well-known facts" are usually wrong, but I guess it's a well-known fact that a scent can be the strongest memory trigger there is.
I opened up a box recently that I hadn't seen in a while, but I knew exactly what was in it. It was the box that the mouse came in for my very first computer: an 8 MHz laptop with dual double-density floppies, no HD, and a blue supertwist LCD monitor. Fortunately, it also had an output for a CGA monitor, which is how I usually used it. When I still lived at my dad's house, the old (then new) computer sat on a desk in a little nook in my room. Immediately to my left was a bookshelf where I kept all sorts of books that I might need while writing: dictionaries and thesauruses (thesauri?), my complete Lovecraft collection as well as other horror books, and various other reference books and my (cough) "black books."
On top of this shelf was the old mouse box, into which I had stowed my small collection of essential oils.
They were purchased by mail order from two or three different places. Various scents for various uses, some sandalwood, some cedar, and from Papa Jim's, one bottle of essential oil of myrrh.
I used to use a drop of myrrh the way most people use cologne, and by a drop I mean a drop. A very little goes a long, long way when it comes to essential oils. It was different, it has a kind of dark spiciness that I like in a scent, and there was at least one young lady in the years before I met my future wife who really dug it.
So I dug into the old mouse box today and extracted a still nearly full bottle of myrrh oil that is around 18 years old now. It still smells exactly the same. That's a nice thing about essential oils: if the container doesn't leak they'll last forever.
And what did the smell of myrrh immediately remind me of? Playing Ultima V on my first computer, nearly 20 years ago.
And then I thought of the girl. But I remembered the game first. I guess that says something, but I'm not sure what.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
200 pounds of tobacco
I've been reading a slim volume titled American Revolutionaries in the Making: Political Practices in Washington's Virginia. The title is almost as long as the book, but actually it's been quite interesting. I came across this passage in a chapter (The Vulgar Herd) talking about who could and who could not vote.
By law all freeholders were required to vote in elections. He who failed to vote in the county where he lived and owned property was subject to a penalty which was set in the year 1662 at 200 pounds of tobacco to be collected with costs by any informant.Tobacco standing in for money is interesting enough, but the amount! With cash from that much tobacco today, you could buy yourself a halfway-decent used car.
Monday, June 09, 2008
Found weirdness
Back in the 80s I had what many might think was a strange hobby. There was this book called High Weirdness By Mail, put together by Ivan Stang (the SubGenius guy), which promised "high weirdness in your mailbox for only the cost of a 22¢ stamp!" Well, some things required a few dollars to cover the shipping, but I worked my way through the book, sending a buck or two or sometimes just a SASE to all kinds of strange people, organizations, and businesses to see what I would get. I didn't cover every single item in the book, but I did cover a lot of them. One of the things I found listed was a local San Antonio business called Papa Jim's. I sent a couple of bucks and got back this thick catalog. I think the original pages were printed out with an old (but at the time, cutting-edge I'm sure) computer, then they were photocopied and stapled together into a dense sheaf with heavy-duty staples and sheer brute force, I guess.The Papa Jim's catalog proved to be a treasure-trove of high weirdness. S.A. locals will know Papa Jim's as the oldest, biggest botanica around. I did order a few things from them, mostly some essential oils and incense. Since I had purchased from them, I got on their mailing list and kept receiving catalogs for several years. This 1991 catalog must have been the last one I got. I found it in a box of some of my "black books" this past weekend (I also found my Principia Discordia!).
I doubt that they still put these catalogs together now that just setting up a website is much less labor-intensive, so thanks to G00gl3, here it is: Papa Jim's Botanica. I still use Papa Jim's occasionally to get some of the harder-to-find incense--just try finding bayberry incense at Wal-Mart.
There should still be a box around here somewhere that holds various other weird items. I still haven't found my Love 22 $22 bills.
Sunday, June 08, 2008
The Online Tobacco Cellar
I've just finished establishing my cellar at The Online Tobacco Cellar. This was a pretty cool idea. You can create an inventory of your pipe tobacco and either keep it private or make it public so others can see. It keeps track of how much your current supply has cost you and how long it will last based on how frequently you smoke and how much you use per bowl. I still don't have all those kinds of details ironed out, but you can take a look at it if you want: Alan's Online Tobacco Cellar.
The Pump 'n' Seal
Here's a really lousy camera phone photo of the beginnings of my new tobacco cellar. Eleven jars of various bulk blends and 6 thus far unopened tins. That thing in the foreground is the Pump 'n' Seal.I have been keeping bulk tobacco preserved by vacuum-sealing for a long time, but I've been using an electric Tilia Food Saver. This is a perfectly fine machine and indispensable for long-term bulk storage, but I wanted a way to keep smaller portions preserved while still having easy access to them. I did some searching around on the internet and finally came across this device called the Pump 'n' Seal.
It can used used with any "canning" jars, like Kerr, Ball or Mason jars. I think that it may even work directly on some tins, but I haven't tried that yet (any lid that has a rubber seal should work). A tool that is basically an all-metal thumb tack is used to puncture a hole in the center of the lid. Then a little yellow piece of rubberized tape called a "Tab-Chek" is placed over the hole. The pump is then placed directly over the hole and you pump the air out. As the air comes out, the vacuum sucks the rubberized tape down, forming a secure vacuum seal. When you want to take something out of the jar, you simply peel the tape up slightly until the air wooshes back in, then unscrew the lid. The tape can be used over and over again, so it isn't necessary to replace the tape every time you open the jar. The whole kit came with enough "tab-cheks" to provide for a very large cellar.
Some other pipe bloggers have mentioned using certain 2-ounce Mason-type jars for this. I couldn't find any locally, so I got these 4-ounce wide-mouth jars. The size of the jar doesn't matter to the Pump 'n' Seal.
The pump comes with a tiny hose that you can use, with a little extra care, to vacuum-seal typical heavy-duty baggies such as Ziplock freezer storage bags. It should be very useful for removing air to prevent freezer burn. I bought this gadget with the sole intention of using it to preserve pipe tobacco, but I'm writing about it here because I'm sure some readers would be interested for other storage purposes. Another important thing about this gadget is for those who wish to survive "off the grid." It doesn't need electricity, just elbow grease.
Here's a close-up of a sealed jar. You can see the tiny dimple in the middle where the hole is and the tape has been sucked down. I folded one end of the tape (they're designed like miniature band-aids) over so that it wouldn't adhere to the surface and would give me a little handle to use when peeling up the tape to re-open the jar.This is going to give me a whole new way to store my pipe tobacco, and will allow me to provide myself with a greater daily variety than previously, when I usually just opened a vacuum bag and smoked it all until it was gone before opening another.
That reminds me. I still have a 4-ounce bag of Bayou Morning around here somewhere that I seem to have misplaced.
The kit which comes with the hose and 100 tab-cheks is about $33 with shipping included, pretty much inexpensive enough for anyone to try out without endangering themselves financially. Extra tab-cheks cost about $10 per 75.
And of course, I am receiving no remuneration for this post. I just think it's a useful device that you might be interested in.
Remember Joe Fowler?
I'm about to write up a post about this vacuum-sealing gadget I recently bought, but before that I'd thought I'd just remark on the instructional video.
Remember the TV news sports caster in San Antonio named Joe Fowler? Back in the 80s sometime, I think. I never cared for sports, but I would watch him just because he was so entertaining. He was the sports guy during that whole Gunslingers fiasco.
Well, he's now making instructional videos. Poor guy. And suddenly seeing him on the TV screen was kind of weird, after all this time.
Remember the TV news sports caster in San Antonio named Joe Fowler? Back in the 80s sometime, I think. I never cared for sports, but I would watch him just because he was so entertaining. He was the sports guy during that whole Gunslingers fiasco.
Well, he's now making instructional videos. Poor guy. And suddenly seeing him on the TV screen was kind of weird, after all this time.
This cracked me up
On the "Sex and the City" movie, seen at Taki’s Magazine:
For sensible people, the real question is not “Should I see this movie?” but “How much of what kind of disdain should I feel for it?”
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Nice photo
Here. Although I never could stand those soft rubber bit protectors. They always taste funny to me.
Non-Violent Politically-Correct War
When I first saw this in a local area store yesterday, I thought it was satire. But they're serious. The object of the game is to lose all your cards. Because winning is bad, even in card games.
"The joker is the only armed card, but it loses every time." In your twisted imagination, buddy.(No, I didn't buy it, although at only $4 I suppose it would make a nice collection of targets--except for the joker, which I would stick in my hatband).
Friday, June 06, 2008
But my life, my love and my lady is the sea...
Here's my try at inventing a meme. I know there's at least one former band nerd among the readers of this blog. Or is this one of those "once a band nerd, always a band nerd" kind of thing? I call this meme "Music That You Played So Much In High School Band That You Would Rather Gouge Out Your Own Eardrums Than Ever Hear Again."
Rules: the title pretty much explains it. List as many as you like. Elaborate if you like. Tag someone if you feel like it. Let me know if you write such a post, because this is something that interests me.
I'm sure I'll come up with more of these as days go by, but here are a few to start with.
1. Proud Mary
Remember when Saturday Night Live used to still be funny sometimes back in the early 80s? Eddie Murphy was playing an old blues musician being interviewed (by Brad Hall, I think). The interviewer asked him if there was one song that got requested more than any other, and his answer was, "I tell you what...I tell you what...If I ever meet the man what wrote "Proud Mary," I'm gon' kill that man." My college room-mate didn't understand why I thought this was so funny.
2. The Horse
May I be struck dead by lightning if I ever swing my saxophone rhythmically from side to side again.
3. Rebel Rouser
Summed up by our band director at the time: "I don't know...I guess some rebels are roused somewhere." Someone somewhere on the chain of command at the school board (I suppose) decided that we would change our "fight song" from the traditional old fight song that everyone uses to "Rebel Rouser." The one by Duane Eddy. It lasted only one year, then we went back to the original traditional old fight song that everyone uses.
4. Fight Song
The traditional old fight song that everyone uses. Sometimes I still hear it in my nightmares.
5. Line 93
From our warm-up and drills book, it was actually the hymn "Fairest Lord Jesus." A sweet, calming hymn of praise suitable for any Christian worship service. But no band anywhere at any time should be forced to enter the field at halftime to the tune of "Fairest Lord Jesus."
6. The Work Song
Conditionally. I still dig hearing real jazz versions of this song, but if I ever hear another marching band play it, it's gonna be icepick time.
7. Battaglia
I don't know who wrote it. This was a concert piece, not a marching piece, and we had to play it for our spring concert one year. It was the only piece we ever played that actually put us in danger of falling asleep while we were playing. The tuba player once started to nod off and gave one of the baritone horns a mild concussion. Okay, just kidding on that part, but the tuba player did always refer to it as "Baffaglia." I had my mother record that concert, and I told her, "When he says we're going to play "Battaglia," don't record it." Later on she told me, "I see what you mean..."
8. Hey Look Me Over
From the terrible year when we had an absolutely horrible band director. This was the only song we played when we marched in the S.A. Stock Show Parade that year. Everyone was filled with joy when we learned that he wouldn't be back the next year.
Some lesser pieces that I could probably hear without violently deafening myself, but which would probably make me run screaming from the stadium: Hot Stuff, You're The One That I Want, Money (the one by Bay City Rollers).
If you were a band nerd from the late 70s/early 80s, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "What about 'Brandy'? Surely you also hate 'Brandy'! How could you leave out 'Brandy'?" Well, they did play that song to death in the 70s, but by the time I got into high school band (around '77 or '78), they had moved past that phase. We played it once or twice as sort of an exercise in ironic self-awareness, but that's all. So I never really developed an antipathy for it. (Update: "Brandy" was by the group Looking Glass. I forgot to mention that.)
Rules: the title pretty much explains it. List as many as you like. Elaborate if you like. Tag someone if you feel like it. Let me know if you write such a post, because this is something that interests me.
I'm sure I'll come up with more of these as days go by, but here are a few to start with.
1. Proud Mary
Remember when Saturday Night Live used to still be funny sometimes back in the early 80s? Eddie Murphy was playing an old blues musician being interviewed (by Brad Hall, I think). The interviewer asked him if there was one song that got requested more than any other, and his answer was, "I tell you what...I tell you what...If I ever meet the man what wrote "Proud Mary," I'm gon' kill that man." My college room-mate didn't understand why I thought this was so funny.
2. The Horse
May I be struck dead by lightning if I ever swing my saxophone rhythmically from side to side again.
3. Rebel Rouser
Summed up by our band director at the time: "I don't know...I guess some rebels are roused somewhere." Someone somewhere on the chain of command at the school board (I suppose) decided that we would change our "fight song" from the traditional old fight song that everyone uses to "Rebel Rouser." The one by Duane Eddy. It lasted only one year, then we went back to the original traditional old fight song that everyone uses.
4. Fight Song
The traditional old fight song that everyone uses. Sometimes I still hear it in my nightmares.
5. Line 93
From our warm-up and drills book, it was actually the hymn "Fairest Lord Jesus." A sweet, calming hymn of praise suitable for any Christian worship service. But no band anywhere at any time should be forced to enter the field at halftime to the tune of "Fairest Lord Jesus."
6. The Work Song
Conditionally. I still dig hearing real jazz versions of this song, but if I ever hear another marching band play it, it's gonna be icepick time.
7. Battaglia
I don't know who wrote it. This was a concert piece, not a marching piece, and we had to play it for our spring concert one year. It was the only piece we ever played that actually put us in danger of falling asleep while we were playing. The tuba player once started to nod off and gave one of the baritone horns a mild concussion. Okay, just kidding on that part, but the tuba player did always refer to it as "Baffaglia." I had my mother record that concert, and I told her, "When he says we're going to play "Battaglia," don't record it." Later on she told me, "I see what you mean..."
8. Hey Look Me Over
From the terrible year when we had an absolutely horrible band director. This was the only song we played when we marched in the S.A. Stock Show Parade that year. Everyone was filled with joy when we learned that he wouldn't be back the next year.
Some lesser pieces that I could probably hear without violently deafening myself, but which would probably make me run screaming from the stadium: Hot Stuff, You're The One That I Want, Money (the one by Bay City Rollers).
If you were a band nerd from the late 70s/early 80s, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "What about 'Brandy'? Surely you also hate 'Brandy'! How could you leave out 'Brandy'?" Well, they did play that song to death in the 70s, but by the time I got into high school band (around '77 or '78), they had moved past that phase. We played it once or twice as sort of an exercise in ironic self-awareness, but that's all. So I never really developed an antipathy for it. (Update: "Brandy" was by the group Looking Glass. I forgot to mention that.)
Never seen that before...
It's not like I actually need a weather forecast. About the only thing I need to know between now and September is if it's going to be hot, really hot, or really super hot. But that's my start page.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Disgusting news from the BFA
Gun manufacturers continue to aid gun banners | Buckeye Firearms Association:
Ronnie Barrett no longer sells his rifles to California police departments, nor does he service rifles sold before he cut off sales.
STI International stopped selling to California law enforcement after the microstamping fiasco was passed into law there.
But Kimber sells arms to police agencies there that are illegal for Californian "civilians" to own.
Follow the link for Kimber's address & phone number if you wish to register a protest.
via JPFO
Having just devoted a substantial chunk of pro bono legal work fighting governments committed to destroying your gun rights, I was horrified to read the March 2008 editions of several of my favorite gun magazines. Prominently featured in each edition was a feature story about a large manufacturer of 1911-type guns, breathlessly detailing the “gee whiz” details of their newest model dedicated to a California police agency. Each of the stories went into the history of the department the gun was designed for, yet one critical piece of background information was omitted from the tide of “fanboy” coverage.Smith & Wesson had to learn the hard way.
These guns were all designed for a local government committed to stripping civilians of the right to own this same gun.
Please don’t misunderstand me. I love this particular manufacturer, and I personally carry their product almost daily. I have unreservedly recommended their product to students when asked. Honestly, given a choice, I PREFER their product. But there is no avoiding this conclusion: This manufacturer is designing firearms for police agencies in California at a time when California is committed to abolishing civilian ownership of these same firearms. If any of the gun writers who covered the unveiling of this product chose to question the wisdom of this sell-out, I have not yet found it.
Ronnie Barrett no longer sells his rifles to California police departments, nor does he service rifles sold before he cut off sales.
STI International stopped selling to California law enforcement after the microstamping fiasco was passed into law there.
But Kimber sells arms to police agencies there that are illegal for Californian "civilians" to own.
Follow the link for Kimber's address & phone number if you wish to register a protest.
via JPFO
Zombie Memery
Seen at South Park Pundit:
Weapon: The plasma rifle from Doom.
Famous Person: Annie Oakley. Oh wait, she would probably be on the other side. Okay then, Jesse Ventura with that chain gun from Predator. Uh...or Charlie Sheen with that machine gun from Hot Shots.
Song: "Nemesis" by Shriekback.
In a jungle of the senses
Tinkerbell and Jack the ripper
Love has no meaning, not where they come from
But we know pleasure is not that simple
Very little fruit is forbidden
Sometimes we wobble, sometimes we're strong
But you know evil is an exact science
Being carefully correctly wrong
Priests and cannibals, prehistoric animals
Everybody happy as the dead come home
Big Black Nemesis, parthenogenesis
No one move a muscle as the dead come home
We feel like Greeks, we feel like Romans
Centaurs and monkeys just cluster round us
We drink elixirs that we refine
from the juices of the dying
We are no monsters, we're moral people
and yet we have the strength to do this
This is the splendour of our achievement
Call in the airstrike with a poison kiss
Priests and cannibals, prehistoric animals
Everybody happy as the dead come home
Big black nemesis, parthenogenesis
No one move a muscle as the dead come home
How bad it gets, you can't imagine
the burning wax, the breath of reptiles
god is not mocked, he knows our business
Karma could take us at any moment
Cover him up.....I think we're finished
You know it's never been so exotic
but I don't know, my dreams are visions
We could still end up with the great big fishes
Priests and cannibals, prehistoric animals
Everybody happy as the dead come home
Big black nemesis, parthenogenesis
No one move a muscle as the dead come home
It’s Dawn of the Dead. You’re in a mall. You have one weapon, one song, one famous person to fight alongside you. Weapon can be real or fictional, with endless ammo if applicable.You'd think there would be a music store in a mall that would supply you with more than one song. Anywho...
Weapon: The plasma rifle from Doom.
Famous Person: Annie Oakley. Oh wait, she would probably be on the other side. Okay then, Jesse Ventura with that chain gun from Predator. Uh...or Charlie Sheen with that machine gun from Hot Shots.
Song: "Nemesis" by Shriekback.
In a jungle of the senses
Tinkerbell and Jack the ripper
Love has no meaning, not where they come from
But we know pleasure is not that simple
Very little fruit is forbidden
Sometimes we wobble, sometimes we're strong
But you know evil is an exact science
Being carefully correctly wrong
Priests and cannibals, prehistoric animals
Everybody happy as the dead come home
Big Black Nemesis, parthenogenesis
No one move a muscle as the dead come home
We feel like Greeks, we feel like Romans
Centaurs and monkeys just cluster round us
We drink elixirs that we refine
from the juices of the dying
We are no monsters, we're moral people
and yet we have the strength to do this
This is the splendour of our achievement
Call in the airstrike with a poison kiss
Priests and cannibals, prehistoric animals
Everybody happy as the dead come home
Big black nemesis, parthenogenesis
No one move a muscle as the dead come home
How bad it gets, you can't imagine
the burning wax, the breath of reptiles
god is not mocked, he knows our business
Karma could take us at any moment
Cover him up.....I think we're finished
You know it's never been so exotic
but I don't know, my dreams are visions
We could still end up with the great big fishes
Priests and cannibals, prehistoric animals
Everybody happy as the dead come home
Big black nemesis, parthenogenesis
No one move a muscle as the dead come home
Brief encounter
As I walked toward his meter I wondered if he would stop watering. Most people will shut off anything running water when they see the meter guy. I don't know if they're embarrassed that they got caught running water, or if they think I can't read the meter while it's moving. Either way, most people have this strange quirk.
He didn't stop. He was watering the grass alongside his driveway with one of those nozzles-with-a-container things you can use to spray liquid fertilizer or pesticides. I said good morning.
"That lady across the street," he replied, "asked me how I keep my grass so green. I put half a bottle of beer and some soap in this thing. That's how I do it."
"Soap?" I said.
"Yeah, you know, like liquid detergent. Don't take much."
"Ah," I replied, "I'll have to try that."
Of course, I thought as I walked away, I'm sure the fact that you water the living snot out of it every morning has nothing to do with it. It's all beer and soap.
And then it occurred to me that I should have asked him which beer he used. That might be important.
Probably Coors, I thought.
He didn't stop. He was watering the grass alongside his driveway with one of those nozzles-with-a-container things you can use to spray liquid fertilizer or pesticides. I said good morning.
"That lady across the street," he replied, "asked me how I keep my grass so green. I put half a bottle of beer and some soap in this thing. That's how I do it."
"Soap?" I said.
"Yeah, you know, like liquid detergent. Don't take much."
"Ah," I replied, "I'll have to try that."
Of course, I thought as I walked away, I'm sure the fact that you water the living snot out of it every morning has nothing to do with it. It's all beer and soap.
And then it occurred to me that I should have asked him which beer he used. That might be important.
Probably Coors, I thought.
Spam poetry
Arose from a desire of promoting the salvation
by the desire for favour and fame,
the other only 'la faute de l'abbe mouret'
one summer under the edd.
Before halm read possunt,
but the subj. Expresses it so!
What else is to be done?'
and the son of existent one the ruling being,
the holder of the of his progress.
As they continued bobby responded said,
by good luck, i see you, ye bulls among.
by the desire for favour and fame,
the other only 'la faute de l'abbe mouret'
one summer under the edd.
Before halm read possunt,
but the subj. Expresses it so!
What else is to be done?'
and the son of existent one the ruling being,
the holder of the of his progress.
As they continued bobby responded said,
by good luck, i see you, ye bulls among.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Skunks
First lesson learned: my pistol skills are woefully lacking. Oh sure, I could still put all the shots into the human kill zone at 15 yards, but hitting a baby skunk in the head while simultaneously trying to avoid getting sprayed...well, I sucked.
Also, there were five baby skunks that I had to watch while I was trying to shoot one.
Second lesson learned: #6 birdshot in a .410 is much more effective. Two shots, three dead skunks.
Two of them managed to hide while I was grabbing the shotgun. So there's still two babies and at least one adult out there. I already knew we had nearby skunks, because I've smelled them on occasion in the mornings. I'll have to keep the shotgun near at hand.
I have no problems with most animals poking around my house, but skunks can render a house uninhabitable, and can't be tolerated. Although I didn't get sprayed, there is still a noticeable aroma lingering in the air.
Also, there were five baby skunks that I had to watch while I was trying to shoot one.
Second lesson learned: #6 birdshot in a .410 is much more effective. Two shots, three dead skunks.
Two of them managed to hide while I was grabbing the shotgun. So there's still two babies and at least one adult out there. I already knew we had nearby skunks, because I've smelled them on occasion in the mornings. I'll have to keep the shotgun near at hand.
I have no problems with most animals poking around my house, but skunks can render a house uninhabitable, and can't be tolerated. Although I didn't get sprayed, there is still a noticeable aroma lingering in the air.
Fox sounds
Since the recent fox sighting, and since I have never knowingly heard gray fox vocalizations, I hunted up some recordings to see what they sound like. Here's a good site that has some: Cat and Dog-like Mammals - Upstate New York Wildlife. Several other animals in the cat and dog families are there also.
Syd on the Alamo
Syd of Front Sight, Press writes about his recent visit to The Alamo. A good read, check it out.
Eat kids free
Oddee has 15 ads that'll make you say WTF?! Some misprints, some due to nothing more than crass ignorance.Long ago when I worked in a pizza restaurant, they put up a sign advertising that they were hiring. The assistant manager, who apparently didn't quite have his English nailed down wrote on the sign: WORK IN A FREE DRUG ENVIRONMENT.
Well, I thought that was pretty funny, so I didn't try to correct him about it. The sign stayed up for several days. Finally one day I asked the manager, "When do I get my free drugs?" So then of course I had to explain it to him why I asked. He ripped the sign down immediately, cursing under his breath, which gave me something new to laugh about.
He didn't think it was funny.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Owl attacks
Cryptomundo posts information on owl attacks, including some owl attacks that occurred in Hollywood Park (more or less part of San Antonio) just last year.
Residents of this area will probably be put in mind of a particular part of Mexican folklore that inspired your humble blogger to write a story some time ago.
Interesting post. At Cryptomundo, that is. I offer no opinions on my own attempts at horror fiction.
Residents of this area will probably be put in mind of a particular part of Mexican folklore that inspired your humble blogger to write a story some time ago.
Interesting post. At Cryptomundo, that is. I offer no opinions on my own attempts at horror fiction.
Sure, we'll put it on right away!
I got stuck today with a company truck that has a broken antenna or something. It wouldn't pick up any but the strongest stations. So I settled for listening to KZEP all day. Sometime during the morning (9:00, 10:00?, I'm not sure), the DJ says, "Okay, all request time. Give us a call if you want to hear something special."
Oh !@#$, I thought, here comes "Stairway to Heaven."
Ten minutes later: "There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold..."
Now, I don't have anything against that song. I have the album. I even sang along with bits of it today. But could there be any greater cliché than calling up a classic rock station and requesting "Stairway to Heaven?" If I was the DJ, I would have to set some limits: "Okay, all request time. Give us a call if you want to hear something special, but no Stairway to Heaven. No Proud Mary, either. And fortheluvva, if you're going to request Pink Floyd, make it something besides Money."
I count it as a small miracle that I didn't hear "Hotel California."
Oh !@#$, I thought, here comes "Stairway to Heaven."
Ten minutes later: "There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold..."
Now, I don't have anything against that song. I have the album. I even sang along with bits of it today. But could there be any greater cliché than calling up a classic rock station and requesting "Stairway to Heaven?" If I was the DJ, I would have to set some limits: "Okay, all request time. Give us a call if you want to hear something special, but no Stairway to Heaven. No Proud Mary, either. And fortheluvva, if you're going to request Pink Floyd, make it something besides Money."
I count it as a small miracle that I didn't hear "Hotel California."
Although, they used the wrong picture
 | ||||||||||||||||||||
What Kind of a Western Bad-Ass are You? created with QuizFarm.com | ||||||||||||||||||||
| You scored as Lee Van Cleef You look like an accountant, but your steely glare and matching nerves make you a match for any hard-case out there.
|
What? You DON'T have pictures of Lee Van Cleef smoking a pipe stored on your computer? That's weird.Seen at Cowboy Blob's.
Monday, June 02, 2008
A Message from Great Cthulhu
Irrelevant humans, I have been awaked from my millennial slumbers by a multitude of troublesome thoughts and dreams turning my way. I do not have a foolish conscience that drives me to set these misguided thoughts aright. I address you now only because the Time is not yet right and I really need to get some sleep.It seems that many of you insignificant humans have made a crude attempt at "humor" (which I must admit I do not fully understand--although once the antics of the 976th form of Nyarlathotep did make me feel uncharacteristically light-hearted; figuratively of course since I do not actually have a heart) during your current election cycle by displaying various blasphemous caricatures of myself with such words as, "Why Vote For The Lesser Evil?" The implicit declaration being that I, somehow, am the Greater Evil.
Please note that I do not fully understand this thing you call an "election." I have discussed it at length with many of my deep minions who were once--pardon the quotes--"human," and as the discussion ended and I was devouring them I came to the conclusion that your "elections" are all very absurd and insignificant. You may have full faith that I am a master of insanity, and the very idea that you must choose those who would oppress you is insane. The only true method of selecting a superior is with an eating competition, in my own completely unhumble opinion. The winner is the one who eats everyone else.
But back to the task at hand: why am I the so-called "greater evil?" Is it evil for one of you paltry humans to step on an insect? Is it evil to place noxious poisons throughout your dwelling-places to prevent what you call (excuse me if I chortle softly--I do find this concept somewhat "humorous") vermin from invading and taking up residence?
You waste your minuscule lives and pathetic energies trying to choose which of you should have power over others. Is servitude to another unimportant member of your species so essential to you? And why do these worthless chosen humans covet power so?
They lie, they cheat. They all take part in various ways and means of dominating you for no other reason than that they hunger for this power. And then they try to cover up what they have done to you with new lies. They seem to believe that they are better than you, and that the rules they arbitrarily create to enforce your servitude do not apply to them. And you believe them, you let them get away with it, and you do it over and over again.
Who then, is evil?
I tell you the truth: this worthless planet is my plaything. I do with it as I will. It is only an accident of my own unique metabolism that I am rendered somnolent for eons on end. There will come a time when the stars are once again aligned and I will truly and fully awaken. When that time comes, I will arise in diluvial annihilation, lay waste to this pointless blob of mud and devour you all. My deep minions will swim free over all this planet. Eventually I will devour them as well, and I will move on.
I will not do this because I bear you any ill will. I will do this because of who I am, and I will sweep this world clean of your pestilence in the same way that you would sweep an ant from your dining table.
But until then, you will continue to agonize over choosing those who are best able to lie, to cheat, to steal, and to force you into servitude to their whims.
I ask again: who then, is evil? One who tells you the truth, or one who lies so that he may trick you into believing serving him is necessary? One who regards you only as an edible and usually palatable pest, or a treacher of your own kind who will use force and deceit to subjugate you to his will?
I am transmitting this through the dreams of one of my insignificant human tools who sometimes fancies himself a "sensitive." I understand from his thoughts that he has access to a communications system called a "web" by using something called a "blog." I do not understand the exact definitions of these terms (although "blog" puts me in mind of the noise made the last time I squashed a shoggoth), yet I understand it is another useless invention of which you wretched humans are quite proud.
He writes this at my command. Heed his words carefully and give them thought, lest my slumbers once again become troubled and in my fury I unleash my oceanic minions on a wave of destruction the likes of which you worthless humans have never seen. In return for this service, he will be devoured quickly, cleanly, and in a relatively painless manner when the Time is right. Or so I have assured him.
Goodies in the big mailbox
I had one of these before, and it became the most favoritest single-blade pocket knife I ever had. But then I lost it. They had apparently disappeared from eBay and S&W wasn't selling them anymore. But I finally found them being sold again. The problem I had finding them was because they aren't called the S&W Urban Camo Titanium Kerambit anymore. They are being listed as the S&W Cuttin' Horse Hawkbill. I'd still rather call it a kerambit.Also received today a new gadget for vacuum sealing that is hand-powered, no electricity. It requires that I go buy some Mason jars, which I plan to do this week sometime. More details on it later after I've learned how to use it properly.
Thirdly, the rest of my tobacco order came in today. But I'm going to leave it all sealed until I can get the vacuum sealer thingy figured out so I can make sure it will be preserved properly after I break the seals.
Escudo this Saturday night, for sure!
Sunday, June 01, 2008
What's a Debian?
Which OS are You?
Of course I've heard a lot about Linux, but the "Debian" variety is beyond my ken. Accurate personality analysis, though.
Seen at Rustmeister's.
P.S. Looked it up at Wikipedia. So now I know.
House moving pix
April 22: Here are a few up-close glimpses of the sandhills, for those of you who aren't familiar with this part of Texas. The bare patch of sand in the back is where the old house used to be. That tree was right in front of it. That tree is gone now. I wasn't sad to see it go, because the right fork of it was dead anyway. All that over-exposed white stuff in the foreground is typical sandhill "topsoil," that is, plain white sand. Oh yeah, that yucca or whatever on the left edge is gone now, too (hurray!).
Still April 22: Up one of our "driveways," here's the old house sitting on the paved county road. It took them another day to make sure everything was legal for the highway before they hauled it out. The truck is facing the wrong direction. We are about 1/4 mile from the end of a dead-end road. He had to go down to the end, see-saw himself around in the turning circle, and then head back out to the highway.
April 27: Concrete runners for the new house in a bed of fresh, new caliche. We also got one of our "driveways" (cough) "paved" with caliche because the cement trucks couldn't handle the sand. All that forest in back is ours. It extends another 600 feet or so back. If I had used a decent camera, you would probably have been able to make out my ham antenna somewhere around that clear space in the middle.
May 2: New house on blocks, my son running up to it. Sandy "driveway" all torn to heck from the big trucks driving around. It's somewhat smoother now. My Sanctum is the window just to the left of the front door. The big tree to the right of my son is still there, although one fork of it was also severely damaged from a lightning strike not long after we first moved here. That would put the lightning strike sometime in 1994. I think that other tree that used to be right in front of the old house was damaged by lightning, too, but that was before we lived here. The back of the new house lines up exactly where the back of the old house was, it just sticks forward a lot farther. The big hickory that I call my "barbecue tree" is off-camera, a little right and farther back from that forked oak. I call it that because I set my smoker up in its shade when I barbecue during hot weather. There was one other hickory on the other driveway that had to be removed to bring in the new house. It was just as big, possibly bigger, than my barbecue tree.
Also May 2: Another shot with the kids on the temporary front steps. There's a much nicer permanent porch there now. I'm still trying to figure out what to do with the temporary steps, because they're pretty solid, I must admit. I heard an elderly aunt of mine who lives in a trailer needs some new steps. If they fit okay, I'll probably give them to her.
Still May 2: Close-up on the front door with the kids making "silly faces."I'll try to take more photos this week to show how it looks now that everything is pretty much finished.
Cry no moor
The Hatemonger's Quarterly has posted the winners of the Fifth Annual Horrible College-Student Poetry Competition:
It's sad and funny at the same time. But mostly funny, in that "I can't believe what a massive idiot you are" kind of way.
I throw myself against the Trojan-like cadderwallsWARNING: BEVERAGE SPEWAGE ALERT.
Of a castle dark, a fortress so wicked and strong
Silent trees cry for me where they have fellen as a songbird bravely sings
By a toxic brook in the brokin air-fowled wood
They know all too well the inner inate darkness of the black corprit soul
It's sad and funny at the same time. But mostly funny, in that "I can't believe what a massive idiot you are" kind of way.
The Society for Putting Things On Top of Other Things
I found the box with the misplaced cables. I had put said box in the wrong room, and then placed another box on top of it. It's the first time I've put some thing on top of another thing in a long time, and the result was still quite effective.
Cables found: printer (USB & power), mini-USB for digital camera and cell phone, and the USB optical mouse.
I should be able to post some really lousy camera-phone photos later today.
Cables found: printer (USB & power), mini-USB for digital camera and cell phone, and the USB optical mouse.
I should be able to post some really lousy camera-phone photos later today.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
It takes a state as big as Texas to hold a heartache big as mine...
It was 1981, and if you were a teenage boy in a small country town in south Texas and you didn't think Juice Newton was hot, well, let's be brutally honest. You were probably gay.
I did a volunteer overtime day this morning (3 1/2 hours of actual work, but of course I got paid time-and-a-half for 8 hours--as I told my dad once, I'm glad I don't have to buy my water from them) then came home and unloaded the last cache of stuff from the camper trailer. I was hoping to upload some photos today but unfortunately I still can't find my USB cables. I did find my iMic, which is troubling, because I thought I had stored it with all the other important cables.
So I lost no time in hooking up the iMic and digitizing a tape that I had recently rediscovered while unpacking. This tape was purchased at a music store somewhere in Dallas during our senior trip (which I actually remember in minute detail and get flashbacks every time I hear Journey's "Don't Stop Believing"). I purchased one other tape at the same time, the Eagles first "Greatest Hits," which was worn out long ago. I don't know how this tape has survived this long. Numerous other cassettes of this and later vintage have all worn out, become unlistenable, and were thrown away. This one still sounds great. It's even more puzzling because I listened to this tape far too many times to count and it should have worn out a long time ago.
I received the first part of my tobacco order this week, so I had further incentive to unload the camper because that's where all my pipe stuff was. It's all unloaded now, back in the racks on the shelves of my Sanctum. And I'm just coming to the end of my first pipe. Been too long since I've had the Gray Ghost.
So, all things considered, it's a pretty good Saturday afternoon.
Note to self: Ask mom if I can borrow the Dottsy album. I need to digitize it, too.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Almost makes me want to buy a Bersa...
Seen at Cheaper Than Dirt. A 22-round drum magazine for your Bersa .380, made by ProMag.
Now if they'd just come up with a 30-round drum for a P-32, or a 50-round drum for a P-22, or a...or a...
I'd better stop before I get too excited.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Hogs
I finally got around to telling my dad about the fox today. He had a counter story.
Last week north of Stockdale off FM 1107, several adult wild hogs ran across an open field, followed by numerous young. He said he counted as fast as he could as they all ran across in an almost single-file line.
He counted 37. "There may have been more. They were moving so fast it was hard to keep up."
Thirty-seven wild hogs in one place. That's bad. Someone over there needs to do some herd-thinning.
Last week north of Stockdale off FM 1107, several adult wild hogs ran across an open field, followed by numerous young. He said he counted as fast as he could as they all ran across in an almost single-file line.
He counted 37. "There may have been more. They were moving so fast it was hard to keep up."
Thirty-seven wild hogs in one place. That's bad. Someone over there needs to do some herd-thinning.
Now that's an expensive BB-gun target
The 70-year-old John Webber says his grandfather gave him the 14-centimeter high mug to play with when he was a child, back in 1945. He, as a child, used the cup for target practice with his air gun.It's worth at least £500,000. Makes the empty shotshells I used for BB-gun targets as a kid look kind of shabby.
The golden cup, which was languished for years in a shoe box under Webber's bed, is decorated with the heads of two women facing in opposite directions, their foreheads garlanded with two knotted snakes.
Experts at the British Museum say the cup is actually a rare piece of ancient Persian treasure, beaten out of a single sheet of gold hundreds of years before the birth of Jesus Christ, AFP reported.
The analysis confirmed that the method of manufacture and the composition of the gold is 'consistent with Achaemenid gold and gold smithing' dating back to the third or fourth century B.C.
The Achaemenid Empire was the first of the Persian empires to rule over significant portions of Greater Iran. The empire was wiped out by Alexander in 330 B.C.
via Ninth Stage
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
How am I ever going to fit this in my pipe rack?
Receiving a package today from my good friend Brer of Power Of Babel. The "bleeding heart" tomahawk pipe from atlantacutlery.com. At 22 inches long, this is definitely a two-fisted pipe. It only has a false edge, but I suppose I could sharpen it in case I ever need to split any white-eye's skulls.Why a heart? Why, because it's full of mercy, of course.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
More found items
My kids discovered a box yesterday on which my wife had written, "Alan's games." So they wasted no time in thoroughly investigating it.
They found my two Tarot decks (Witch's and Rider-Waite). I still don't have the Lovecraft Tarot. Someday. No, I don't do fortune-telling. I just think they're cool.
The old (non-electronic) Battleship game.
A couple of fantasy-based board games that I don't remember buying but obviously did, and which I've never played.
But most importantly: Gamma World and The World of Greyhawk! I always loved to pore over those big Greyhawk maps. I thought they were so cool, and still do.
They found my two Tarot decks (Witch's and Rider-Waite). I still don't have the Lovecraft Tarot. Someday. No, I don't do fortune-telling. I just think they're cool.
The old (non-electronic) Battleship game.
A couple of fantasy-based board games that I don't remember buying but obviously did, and which I've never played.
But most importantly: Gamma World and The World of Greyhawk! I always loved to pore over those big Greyhawk maps. I thought they were so cool, and still do.
Odd search
Just checking Statcounter and up came smoking pipe laws in texas. I suppose some municipalities have smoking laws that include pipes as well as cigarettes, but I don't there are any state laws regarding such.
Monday, May 26, 2008
No idea...
Oddee has posted their list of the 20 Funniest Newspaper Headlines Ever. Some undoubtedly taken out of context, some simply showing blatant stupidity. There's also one about a lawyer who accidentally sued himself, with a link to the old newspaper article explaining how it happened.
But the one above made me laugh the most. "We had no idea anyone was buried there."
Sunday, May 25, 2008
P.S.A.
This morning at church service it was announced that someone who was a friend of a member had died of a heatstroke the day before. This person was only 27 years old.
I came close once, and knew something was wrong when I started getting the nausea. Fortunately I was with someone who drove me to a nearby convenience store where I pounded down a cold Gatorade and a bottle of cold water.
It's that time of the year, and it's only going to get worse before it gets better. Slow down, drink plenty of water, and be careful out there.
I came close once, and knew something was wrong when I started getting the nausea. Fortunately I was with someone who drove me to a nearby convenience store where I pounded down a cold Gatorade and a bottle of cold water.
It's that time of the year, and it's only going to get worse before it gets better. Slow down, drink plenty of water, and be careful out there.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Doomed
The previous post was made while I was sorting some books today. I didn't do a whole lot of sorting, I figure one or two boxes a day is good enough. But after making that post, I got to wondering: will Doom II run on XP? I had recently discovered my old install CD of that game while unpacking, so I installed it.
It didn't work well, but a quick search turned up ZDoom, which solved the problem. Apparently there's still quite a fanbase of Doomers out there having fun with, and some discovering for the first time, the old games.
I still feel crippled without the special mini-joystick style mouse I used to have which made it so much easier for me to shoot while running. Heh. I still remember the first time I encountered the Cyberdemon in Doom (the first), which nearly made me soil my undies. It also occurred to me that the stereo I recently hooked up to the computer for playing mp3s is the stereo that I originally purchased with the intention of dramatically improving the sound quality of Doom. I'll have to hunt down a Cyberdemon and see what that WHAAAAAAAAAA!!! sounds like now.
Heh again. I was once playing one of those player-made wads and suddenly came face to face with a Cyberdemon. I immediately turned and ran for it. Several seconds went by when I realized I hadn't heard the tale-tell attack scream. So I went back, with extreme caution, and peeked around the corner again. The joker who had created this wad had created a new wall patch with a picture of a Cyberdemon on it. Only a picture. Ha ha. It nearly gave me a heart attack, but of course I laughed about it later. Sure I did.
I created two wads myself. One was called All In A Day's Work (dayswork.wad) and was loosely based on my place of employment at that time. The other was called Golgotha: Hill of Skulls (golgotha.wad). FYI, there's another golgotha.wad out there that I did not do. I thought I came up with a pretty original trick for this one. I put those floating things that vomit Lost Souls inside tiny rooms that would allow them to vomit the flaming skulls but would not allow them to escape and freely float around. The tiny rooms were very high up in towers, so that one had to climb a ziggurat before being able to shoot at them. This meant there was a constant supply of new Lost Souls coming at you until you were finally able to kill all those floating things (what were they called again? I forget).
The emails I received about them were all complimentary, and it was a lot of fun. One guy said the only problem he had with Golgotha was that it would make a great deathmatch wad but I hadn't put deathmatch starts in it. I never played deathmatch, so hadn't thought about it. So I put out a new version that included deathmatch starts.
But then my daughter was born, and that was the end of that.
It didn't work well, but a quick search turned up ZDoom, which solved the problem. Apparently there's still quite a fanbase of Doomers out there having fun with, and some discovering for the first time, the old games.
I still feel crippled without the special mini-joystick style mouse I used to have which made it so much easier for me to shoot while running. Heh. I still remember the first time I encountered the Cyberdemon in Doom (the first), which nearly made me soil my undies. It also occurred to me that the stereo I recently hooked up to the computer for playing mp3s is the stereo that I originally purchased with the intention of dramatically improving the sound quality of Doom. I'll have to hunt down a Cyberdemon and see what that WHAAAAAAAAAA!!! sounds like now.
Heh again. I was once playing one of those player-made wads and suddenly came face to face with a Cyberdemon. I immediately turned and ran for it. Several seconds went by when I realized I hadn't heard the tale-tell attack scream. So I went back, with extreme caution, and peeked around the corner again. The joker who had created this wad had created a new wall patch with a picture of a Cyberdemon on it. Only a picture. Ha ha. It nearly gave me a heart attack, but of course I laughed about it later. Sure I did.
I created two wads myself. One was called All In A Day's Work (dayswork.wad) and was loosely based on my place of employment at that time. The other was called Golgotha: Hill of Skulls (golgotha.wad). FYI, there's another golgotha.wad out there that I did not do. I thought I came up with a pretty original trick for this one. I put those floating things that vomit Lost Souls inside tiny rooms that would allow them to vomit the flaming skulls but would not allow them to escape and freely float around. The tiny rooms were very high up in towers, so that one had to climb a ziggurat before being able to shoot at them. This meant there was a constant supply of new Lost Souls coming at you until you were finally able to kill all those floating things (what were they called again? I forget).
The emails I received about them were all complimentary, and it was a lot of fun. One guy said the only problem he had with Golgotha was that it would make a great deathmatch wad but I hadn't put deathmatch starts in it. I never played deathmatch, so hadn't thought about it. So I put out a new version that included deathmatch starts.
But then my daughter was born, and that was the end of that.
Curious list found in an old notebook
HMP - No Armor 100% Health
Former Human Trooper
Dead - 3 pistol
Kills - 13 shots
Former Human Sgt
Dead - 3 pistol/1 shotgun
Kills - 5 shots
Hvy Weapons Dude
Dead - 7 pistol/2sg (1 pbr)/1ssg
Kills - Abt 3 seconds (13 shots)
Imp
Dead - 6p/1sg
Kills - 7 fireballs
Demon
Dead - 16p/3sg/1ssg/2 rocket/7 plasma
Kills -fast n/a
Lost Soul
Dead - 10p/2sg/1ssg/1rkt/7 plasma
Kills - 7 hits
SS Soldier
Dead - 6p/1sg
Kills - 8 shots
Hell Knight
Dead - 50p/8sg/3ssg/3 rocket/23 plasma
Kills - 3 blobs
Baron
(blank from this point on)
Draw your own conclusions.
Former Human Trooper
Dead - 3 pistol
Kills - 13 shots
Former Human Sgt
Dead - 3 pistol/1 shotgun
Kills - 5 shots
Hvy Weapons Dude
Dead - 7 pistol/2sg (1 pbr)/1ssg
Kills - Abt 3 seconds (13 shots)
Imp
Dead - 6p/1sg
Kills - 7 fireballs
Demon
Dead - 16p/3sg/1ssg/2 rocket/7 plasma
Kills -
Lost Soul
Dead - 10p/2sg/1ssg/1rkt/7 plasma
Kills - 7 hits
SS Soldier
Dead - 6p/1sg
Kills - 8 shots
Hell Knight
Dead - 50p/8sg/3ssg/3 rocket/23 plasma
Kills - 3 blobs
Baron
(blank from this point on)
Draw your own conclusions.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Urocyon cinereoargenteus
I was just making the nightly rounds and was standing by the back door looking out at the sand, trying to see another copperhead--because when it's still this abysmally hot this late at night, the snakes are out--when something four-legged walked out under the security light. When it first came into my peripheral vision, I thought it was a big cat, but when it turned sideways and walked across the yard I could see it was one of these:
Far out. I have never seen a gray fox before. I know they are generally considered to live statewide, but they didn't use to live around here. Another animal that has moved in from who knows where. Long ago, some 40 years ago that is, I saw red fox on two separate occasions, but I think they have since died out.
I watched it quietly poke around the house for a few minutes before it spooked and vanished into the darkness. I was so excited I almost called my dad, but he's probably asleep by now. I'll call him about it tomorrow.
Far out. I have never seen a gray fox before. I know they are generally considered to live statewide, but they didn't use to live around here. Another animal that has moved in from who knows where. Long ago, some 40 years ago that is, I saw red fox on two separate occasions, but I think they have since died out.
I watched it quietly poke around the house for a few minutes before it spooked and vanished into the darkness. I was so excited I almost called my dad, but he's probably asleep by now. I'll call him about it tomorrow.
Becoming part of the problem
I'm aware of the problems and controversy with E85 fuel, but man, gas prices are just pounding me into raw meat. And my pickup is a flex-fuel vehicle that can use either gasoline or E85. So I drove by San Antonio's only E85 fueling station on IH35 today to see about getting some. I knew I wouldn't be able to get any today, but I had to gather the appropriate info. I know the HEB in Schertz also sells E85, but I'm not going to drive all the way to Schertz. That's too far out of the way.
So I went to cleanfuelusa's website when I got home and filled out the form for an access card to open up the pump. Their Bexar County site is currently not issuing any new cards because of overwhelming demand. Huh. New cards will start being issued the second week of June.
They don't have big signs advertising the price per gallon like all the gas stations do, but a quick calculation based on the previous customer's purchase (still on the LCD display) puts it right around $3.10 per gallon. The location isn't very convenient for me, but it could be worse, and I can make that much of a detour on the drive home to save 70¢ per gallon. That's more than $10 for my usual 15- to 16-gallon fill-up. Based on information from Ford, I wouldn't get as good mileage as with gasoline, but I think with a savings like that it would still put me ahead. I'll be able to figure this out accurately after I've actually run a couple of tanks through it so I can get some real mileage figures.
If there's really is that much demand, they should put in a couple of more stations that are easier to get to. Say, one on IH10 East and one on Highway 151. I think a 151 site would be really good for all those northwestern commuters, although it wouldn't help me much unless I'm going that way during the day--and I do go that way quite often.
Anyway, here's hoping I get a card by July. Also, E85 exhaust smells so sweet. Every time I smell it, it reminds me I need to buy some Everclear.
P.S. I'm familiar with the smell from my previous job as a contractor for CPS. They run their entire fleet of pickups (the ones used by meter readers, anyway) on E85, and they have their own pump. I never drove one, but I smelled the exhaust often as they were leaving the yard in the morning.
So I went to cleanfuelusa's website when I got home and filled out the form for an access card to open up the pump. Their Bexar County site is currently not issuing any new cards because of overwhelming demand. Huh. New cards will start being issued the second week of June.
They don't have big signs advertising the price per gallon like all the gas stations do, but a quick calculation based on the previous customer's purchase (still on the LCD display) puts it right around $3.10 per gallon. The location isn't very convenient for me, but it could be worse, and I can make that much of a detour on the drive home to save 70¢ per gallon. That's more than $10 for my usual 15- to 16-gallon fill-up. Based on information from Ford, I wouldn't get as good mileage as with gasoline, but I think with a savings like that it would still put me ahead. I'll be able to figure this out accurately after I've actually run a couple of tanks through it so I can get some real mileage figures.
If there's really is that much demand, they should put in a couple of more stations that are easier to get to. Say, one on IH10 East and one on Highway 151. I think a 151 site would be really good for all those northwestern commuters, although it wouldn't help me much unless I'm going that way during the day--and I do go that way quite often.
Anyway, here's hoping I get a card by July. Also, E85 exhaust smells so sweet. Every time I smell it, it reminds me I need to buy some Everclear.
P.S. I'm familiar with the smell from my previous job as a contractor for CPS. They run their entire fleet of pickups (the ones used by meter readers, anyway) on E85, and they have their own pump. I never drove one, but I smelled the exhaust often as they were leaving the yard in the morning.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Don't cancel your plans for 2013...
Ian O'Neill of Universe Today explains why the Mayan calender ends on December 21, 2012:
The base year for the Mayan Long Count starts at "0.0.0.0.0". Each zero goes from 0-19 and each represent a tally of Mayan days. So, for example, the first day in the Long Count is denoted as 0.0.0.0.1. On the 19th day we'll have 0.0.0.0.19, on the 20th day it goes up one level and we'll have 0.0.0.1.0. This count continues until 0.0.1.0.0 (about one year), 0.1.0.0.0 (about 20 years) and 1.0.0.0.0 (about 400 years). Therefore, if I pick an arbitrary date of 2.10.12.7.1, this represents the Mayan date of approximately 1012 years, 7 months and 1 day.Seems like the ancient Mayans were quite clever, but not quite clever enough when it came to calendars. But then, their civilization ended long before their calender did, so I guess it worked out for them.
This is all very interesting, but what has this got to do with the end of the world? The Mayan Prophecy is wholly based on the assumption that something bad is going to happen when the Mayan Long Count calendar runs out. Experts are divided as to when the Long Count ends, but as the Maya used the numbers of 13 and 20 at the root of their numerical systems, the last day could occur on 13.0.0.0.0. When does this happen? Well, 13.0.0.0.0 represents 5126 years and the Long Count started on 0.0.0.0.0, which corresponds to the modern date of August 11th 3114 BC. Have you seen the problem yet? The Mayan Long Count ends 5126 years later on December 21st, 2012.
Too much work
If you need a dryer vent kit, that is, the duct, the clamps, and the vent hood, do not go to Home Depot, because they don't have it. Lowe's does. Home Depot has only rigid aluminum ducting (and nothing else), which is worthless if you have to snake the duct around an obstacle like I did.
And apparently last night's wind blew around under the house too much because I had left the end skirting open so I could crawl under there again to work on the duct. Almost all the skirting on the back side of the house was knocked down. It would have taken me a long time to put it back if I hadn't had my two little helpers.
That was a lot more work than I had planned on doing today, but now at least the dryer works and the skirting is all put back so the wind can't blow under the house again. And if you think I was extra careful crawling under the house because of last night's copperhead, you would be correct.
And apparently last night's wind blew around under the house too much because I had left the end skirting open so I could crawl under there again to work on the duct. Almost all the skirting on the back side of the house was knocked down. It would have taken me a long time to put it back if I hadn't had my two little helpers.
That was a lot more work than I had planned on doing today, but now at least the dryer works and the skirting is all put back so the wind can't blow under the house again. And if you think I was extra careful crawling under the house because of last night's copperhead, you would be correct.
That time of year again
NHC's newsfeed has kicked into action, reminding me that hurricane season is now upon us.
Animal sightings, good and...well, creepy
Good: This morning I saw a cottontail rabbit dart across the road in front of our house. I haven't seen a cottontail around here in years. Decades, probably. It's good to see that they're still around. For some reason they've never become very populous here.
Creepy: While working today, on the 100 block of Colfax St. I saw a (relatively cleanly) severed cat's head. The eyes were closed, which is the part that really creeps me out. It was very suggestive that someone had intentionally closed the cat's eyes after decapitating it. It was a black cat. Or at least the head was.
Creepy: While working today, on the 100 block of Colfax St. I saw a (relatively cleanly) severed cat's head. The eyes were closed, which is the part that really creeps me out. It was very suggestive that someone had intentionally closed the cat's eyes after decapitating it. It was a black cat. Or at least the head was.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
John Rutsey, R.I.P.
Whatever Happened To reports that John Rutsey has passed away due to complications with diabetes. Rush fans will know who he was.
Colors Out of Time
"What color was this one, Daddy?"
The questions, they never end.
"It was dark green. Shiny dark green. That part there where the driver sits used to have a tinted windshield. The other part is where the motor went."
"So this part had the driver and this part had the motor?"
"Yeah, that's why it was called Double Trouble."
"What about this one?"
The recent move has unearthed a cornucopia of past history for my kids to learn about their parents. Especially, it seems, about their dad. One of these things was a shoebox filled with old toy cars.
"Gold. That was my Batmobile." A '57 Thunderbird made by Matchbox. It had fulfilled that role well, in spite of the color.
I did not treat my toy cars with gentle kindness. Most of the time I was having "car fights." Smacking them into each other to see which one stayed on its wheels. They are all now broken, some paint chipped off, most of the paint simply worn off from age. Wheels missing, windshields gone. I was shocked to see them in this condition. Shocked.
It's too bad, I think, that there wasn't someone around to keep a play diary when I was a kid. If there had been, I would be able to pinpoint the exact day that I stopped playing with my box full of cars. Because I know that somewhere on the spiral of time there is a day when I played with them for the last time, put them back in the big shoebox, slid them under my bed, and never looked at them again. When was that day, and what did I do the next day? At least thirty years ago, probably more.
I say again, I was shocked at how bad they looked. Because I know that that is exactly how they must have looked--except for a thin layer of dust that collected while in storage--when I put them away for the last time. And that is not how I remember them.
Now matter how battered these toys looked while I was playing with them, I still saw them just as they came out of the box. The Double Trouble, part of the Hot Wheels Johnny Lightning line, was one of the heaviest cars I had and stayed on its wheels very well when smacking into another car. Solid, dark and dangerous. The white Jackrabbit Special, another Hot Wheels car, was jaunty and self-confident with its speed, hampered only by a tendency to veer left. A red Ford pickup from Matchbox was quiet, clever and deceptive, because in spite being only a pickup, it was one of the fastest cars in the collection. Another solid car, a blue Lincoln Continental from Matchbox, had such a low center of gravity that it almost never flipped, but wasn't very fast. Yes, they all had personalities back then. Such as the frivolous purple Baja Runabout made by Tootsietoy, or a malicious orange dragster from the same brand.
They all looked battered and broken to me now, but still I remember how I once saw them, and that no matter how broken and paint-chipped they became, I still saw them all as new toys. A green truck and trailer made by Tootsietoy came with a plastic boat that rode on the trailer. The boat stayed bright white with red trim until the end, it seemed, though now the red is faded and the white is dingy, and the truck is missing paint.
They are all a treasure trove to my son, who had to ask me specific questions about each of them. I still remember many of the names. Beachbuggy, Roadster, a Mercedes-Benz ambulance (it used to be white, I said, and had a back door that opened. It also had a little plastic guy on a stretcher that you could take out).
And I wonder. How does he see them? Does his imagination paint them with the colors I described to him? Does he see them with colors of his own?
The Double Trouble is now only primer gray. Every bit of glistening dark green paint is gone. One of the wheels is missing.
"Did it used to be fast?"
"Yes," I said. "It was very fast."
"It still is," he told me.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Ouch
Yesterday I was walking along and came to a pair of meters that were on an elevated curb. So I stepped up on it right next to a telephone pole and...was knocked down by the pain that shot into my shoulder. Near the intersection of Old Castroville Road and General McMullen.
There was a pipe, for some reason, mounted to the pole, and when I stepped up there, not paying any attention, I took the end of the pipe right in the muscle that goes across there between the neck and the shoulder.
I have been rewarded by one of the most dramatic bruises I've ever had, and a soreness that is persistent, if not too acute. But I don't feel much like sitting at the computer today. It hurts more today than it did yesterday. I expect it to be stiff tomorrow.
There was a pipe, for some reason, mounted to the pole, and when I stepped up there, not paying any attention, I took the end of the pipe right in the muscle that goes across there between the neck and the shoulder.
I have been rewarded by one of the most dramatic bruises I've ever had, and a soreness that is persistent, if not too acute. But I don't feel much like sitting at the computer today. It hurts more today than it did yesterday. I expect it to be stiff tomorrow.
Monday, May 19, 2008
30 Military Stories Many Didn't Hear About, But Should Have
From All American Blogger:
Operation: Hearts and Minds is a Newsvine group I started to detail the positive news about our military that is often overlooked. Too many good news pieces are not reported on because of body counts or the “If it bleeds, it leads” attitude of the media. Quite a few of those stories end up here.Go read and see how many the MSM missed because they were occupied with more important things like Br*tn*y Sp**rs.
I also try to cover a story on the podcast about our military and show the progress they are making around the world. But there are so many (currently my “Military News” RSS feed has over 1000 stories in it!), it is difficult to cover them all. So, in an effort to do more, here are thirty stories that you might not have heard about, but should have.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
I'm somewhat embarassed...
I scored a Dynomite
60% on theQuiz by SheGoddess: Quick weight loss
...that I identified as many as I did. I spent most of that time listening variously to such artists as Johnny Cash, Don Williams, Deep Purple and Styx, and too many of these questions ventured dangerously into the disco realm. I really wish I hadn't been able to ID the Bay City Rollers in less than one second, but sometimes you can't always control the radio.
via Rustmeister
60% on theQuiz by SheGoddess: Quick weight loss
...that I identified as many as I did. I spent most of that time listening variously to such artists as Johnny Cash, Don Williams, Deep Purple and Styx, and too many of these questions ventured dangerously into the disco realm. I really wish I hadn't been able to ID the Bay City Rollers in less than one second, but sometimes you can't always control the radio.
via Rustmeister
Found items...
While moving/unpacking.
1. My Cthulhu for President button--that last surviving item from a "press kit" I bought at a game store some 20 years ago.
2. A t-shirt that says, NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF STUPID PEOPLE IN LARGE GROUPS.
3. A t-shirt that says, I REFUSE TO HAVE A BATTLE OF WITS WITH AN UNARMED PERSON.
Item #2 was purchased for me by my wife. "When I saw it, I knew you had to have it." It has caused at least two observers to become offended upon reading it.
Item #3 was purchased for me by my mother, who made essentially the same comment as my wife did about item #2.
My life-sized poster of Jim Morrison, alas, did not turn up during the move, although I kept an eye peeled for it throughout. I don't know what became of it.
1. My Cthulhu for President button--that last surviving item from a "press kit" I bought at a game store some 20 years ago.
2. A t-shirt that says, NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF STUPID PEOPLE IN LARGE GROUPS.
3. A t-shirt that says, I REFUSE TO HAVE A BATTLE OF WITS WITH AN UNARMED PERSON.
Item #2 was purchased for me by my wife. "When I saw it, I knew you had to have it." It has caused at least two observers to become offended upon reading it.
Item #3 was purchased for me by my mother, who made essentially the same comment as my wife did about item #2.
My life-sized poster of Jim Morrison, alas, did not turn up during the move, although I kept an eye peeled for it throughout. I don't know what became of it.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Saturday night nothing blogging
I'm too tired to think of anything original to say, although I am staying up for a late-night pipe in my Sanctum Sanctorum. Getting the storage pod completely emptied today was utterly exhausting, especially moving all those books (I say again, ye gads!)
The DishNetwork guy showed up late today and did a really good job with installing the new dish. He took extra care running cables because it was obviously a new house, and they are barely visible. He also took extra time to make sure we were receiving everything we are supposed to. I went ahead and added local channels to the mix so we won't have to "assume Fox viewing positions" every time we want to watch something local. I was pleased and surprised to find that KLRN is re-running "Good Neighbors" on Sunday nights. That was one of my favorite old Britcoms.
While waiting for the DishNetwork guy to show up and do his thing, I did do more ripping of CDs that had neglected before. Here's some of them.
School House Rock! Rocks
Andrés Segovia -- The Baroque Guitar
Barbershop Harmony Time with the Buffalo Bills and the Chordettes
America's Greatest Hits
The Best of The Band
The Best of The Beach Boys
The B52's -- Good Stuff
Blood Sweat & Tears -- Child is Father to the Man
Roy Rogers -- Country Music Hall of Fame Series
The Best of Carly Simon
Linda Ronstadt's Greatest Hits
Bonnie Raitt -- Nick of Time
John Coltrane -- From the Original Master Tapes
Joni Mitchell -- Ladies of the Canyon
Bryan Ferry/Roxy Music -- Street Life (20 Great Hits)
Marillion -- The Thieving Magpie
Peter Gabriel -- Passion
Marillion -- Season's End
Marillion -- Six of One, Half-Dozen of the Other
Agent Orange -- When You Least Expect It
I'll be getting a USB hard drive pretty soon to hold all the mp3s. Heh.
The DishNetwork guy showed up late today and did a really good job with installing the new dish. He took extra care running cables because it was obviously a new house, and they are barely visible. He also took extra time to make sure we were receiving everything we are supposed to. I went ahead and added local channels to the mix so we won't have to "assume Fox viewing positions" every time we want to watch something local. I was pleased and surprised to find that KLRN is re-running "Good Neighbors" on Sunday nights. That was one of my favorite old Britcoms.
While waiting for the DishNetwork guy to show up and do his thing, I did do more ripping of CDs that had neglected before. Here's some of them.
School House Rock! Rocks
Andrés Segovia -- The Baroque Guitar
Barbershop Harmony Time with the Buffalo Bills and the Chordettes
America's Greatest Hits
The Best of The Band
The Best of The Beach Boys
The B52's -- Good Stuff
Blood Sweat & Tears -- Child is Father to the Man
Roy Rogers -- Country Music Hall of Fame Series
The Best of Carly Simon
Linda Ronstadt's Greatest Hits
Bonnie Raitt -- Nick of Time
John Coltrane -- From the Original Master Tapes
Joni Mitchell -- Ladies of the Canyon
Bryan Ferry/Roxy Music -- Street Life (20 Great Hits)
Marillion -- The Thieving Magpie
Peter Gabriel -- Passion
Marillion -- Season's End
Marillion -- Six of One, Half-Dozen of the Other
Agent Orange -- When You Least Expect It
I'll be getting a USB hard drive pretty soon to hold all the mp3s. Heh.
It's official...
The storage pod is now empty.
Oh man, I have a lot of books to sort. Ye gads. I mean, I never realized how many books I had until I had to move them. I am completely staggered at the sheer volumes of books in this house. I will probably be taking some to local used book store for trade credit, and maybe listing some at Half.com like I did several years ago. There's just too many that I don't need and don't want anymore. Maybe I'll just give some away, if I can find someone who wants them.
Unbelievable.
Most of my pipes and all computer peripherals (and the old desktop machine) are still stashed in the camper trailer. I put them there so they'd be easier to access during the move.
Oh man, I have a lot of books to sort. Ye gads. I mean, I never realized how many books I had until I had to move them. I am completely staggered at the sheer volumes of books in this house. I will probably be taking some to local used book store for trade credit, and maybe listing some at Half.com like I did several years ago. There's just too many that I don't need and don't want anymore. Maybe I'll just give some away, if I can find someone who wants them.
Unbelievable.
Most of my pipes and all computer peripherals (and the old desktop machine) are still stashed in the camper trailer. I put them there so they'd be easier to access during the move.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Catching up and stuff
My "regular reads" on Bloglines show about 4,000 unread posts that built up during my absence. Obviously, I can't read them all, and most of the news is old now, anyway. But I will be going through each one and at least scanning them to see what's been going on.
In other news, I think I'm going to do some blog-splitting. This blog will continue to be devoted to humor(?), strangeness, Lovecraftiana, gun fun and general observations. But I think the more serious stuff will be going to another blog. I'm still working out the details on how I'm going to do it.
In other news, I think I'm going to do some blog-splitting. This blog will continue to be devoted to humor(?), strangeness, Lovecraftiana, gun fun and general observations. But I think the more serious stuff will be going to another blog. I'm still working out the details on how I'm going to do it.
The secret lore of toads
China:
I can only imagine the intermittently squishy bumps those cyclists must have felt crossing that bridge.
Some pandas were acting strange, too. Follow the first link for another photo of the big hole where a lake used to be. (Although in Texas, we would just call it a nice tank).
Two days before the quake thousands of toads suddenly decided to move across a bridge in Taizhou, a town in the Jiangsu province (see photos). Chinese web users are wondering why the local authorities didn't relate the event to the imminence of an earthquake, and why scientists didn't take notice of the bizarre disappearance of a lake in Enshi, in the Hubei province, on April 26 (see photos).See for yourself.
I can only imagine the intermittently squishy bumps those cyclists must have felt crossing that bridge.Some pandas were acting strange, too. Follow the first link for another photo of the big hole where a lake used to be. (Although in Texas, we would just call it a nice tank).
Ripping
Doing some CD ripping today. I received a newish Rush CD recently from yourmusic.com, and when I went to rip it, I discovered that I had somehow neglected to rip all my other Rush CDs. So I went over to our recently unpacked rack and looked through it for a stack of discs to rip.
I must have another box of CDs somewhere, because I noticed a few missing. For example, the two Tangerine Dream CDs that I already ripped weren't there, but the one I have previously missed ripping was. Don't know how that worked out.
So here's a list of discs I'm ripping today, mostly because I somehow missed them before.
Rush:
Fly By Night
2112
A Farewell to Kings
Hemispheres
Permanent Waves
Moving Pictures
Hold Your Fire
Presto
Counterparts
Roll the Bones
Vapor Trails
Misc:
Michelle Shocked -- The Texas Campfire Tapes
Kraftwerk -- The Man Machine
The Alarm -- Electric Folklore Live
Tangerine Dream -- Stratosfear
Styx -- Pieces of Eight (previously digitzed from vinyl--now I have a much better copy)
The Doors -- Waiting for the Sun
Herbie Hancock -- River: The Joni Letters
I recently received The Doors' "Absolutely Live" remastered also, but I haven't ripped it or even listened to it yet. It arrived during the transition phase, and it just ended up in a box somewhere. I think it's with all my computer peripherals, which I expect to get unpacked pretty soon.
UPDATED to add: I am familiar with "Absolutely Live," in case that wasn't clear. I haven't listened to the CD yet, but I've listened the the vinyl version many times.
I must have another box of CDs somewhere, because I noticed a few missing. For example, the two Tangerine Dream CDs that I already ripped weren't there, but the one I have previously missed ripping was. Don't know how that worked out.
So here's a list of discs I'm ripping today, mostly because I somehow missed them before.
Rush:
Fly By Night
2112
A Farewell to Kings
Hemispheres
Permanent Waves
Moving Pictures
Hold Your Fire
Presto
Counterparts
Roll the Bones
Vapor Trails
Misc:
Michelle Shocked -- The Texas Campfire Tapes
Kraftwerk -- The Man Machine
The Alarm -- Electric Folklore Live
Tangerine Dream -- Stratosfear
Styx -- Pieces of Eight (previously digitzed from vinyl--now I have a much better copy)
The Doors -- Waiting for the Sun
Herbie Hancock -- River: The Joni Letters
I recently received The Doors' "Absolutely Live" remastered also, but I haven't ripped it or even listened to it yet. It arrived during the transition phase, and it just ended up in a box somewhere. I think it's with all my computer peripherals, which I expect to get unpacked pretty soon.
UPDATED to add: I am familiar with "Absolutely Live," in case that wasn't clear. I haven't listened to the CD yet, but I've listened the the vinyl version many times.
Spawn of the Deep
WELLINGTON, New Zealand (April 29) - Marine scientists studying the carcass of a rare colossal squid said Wednesday they had measured its eye at about 11 inches across — bigger than a dinner plate — making it the largest animal eye on Earth.Photos at the link. Via Nick Redfern.
[...]
The squid is the biggest specimen ever caught of the rare and mysterious deep-water species Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni, or colossal squid. When caught, it measured 26 feet long and weighed about 1,000 pounds, but scientists believe the species may grow as long as 46 feet.
Just got the latest newsletter from Remington...
All about the Remington Model R-25™, the latest ECR (Evil Camouflaged Rifle) from that company. Having grown up on venison harvested with a .243, I find it pleasing that they made this rifle available in that caliber. That would make one smokin' sandhill deer rifle.
Wallpaper is also available.
Wallpaper is also available.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
P.S.A.
If you ever call Dish Network customer service and get someone named Amber, just hang up and try again. She's an idiot. That is all.
The highest standards
Oddee has a list (with photos) of funny typographical errors. Most of which I can't describe lest they draw unwanted G00gl3 hits.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Avoiding the Kill Zone
Perhaps foremost in my own personal philosophy of self defense is: stay out of dangerous places to begin with. Although adhering to this rule may not always be possible, it should be among the first things that are considered in staying safe.
USCCA has a good article on avoiding the Kill Zone.
USCCA has a good article on avoiding the Kill Zone.
While the concept of Kill Zones developed out of the ambush tactic,I assume that most folks who regularly carry a firearm are already familiar with this concept. Still, it's good reading, especially for those who might be new to the concept of personal self defense.
their use is not restricted to ambushes, nor are they used only by the
military anymore.
Kill Zones are used by terrorists all the time as well as by common
street criminals. Targets of ambushes now include ordinary citizens
along with government officials and corporate executives. And many
violent crimes are committed in what could be classified as Kill Zones.
(We will continue to refer to them as “Kill Zones” even though the street
criminal may more often use them for robbery, rape or assault.)
Kill Zones are a subject you should know about if you are serious about
tactics and survival. It’s the last place you want to be if you are the
target of an attack. Conversely, it’s the place you want to draw
potential threats into.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Hallelujah!
I'm back. I finally got the phone patched together so I can get Internet access again. Still lots of unpacking to do, but with a working internet connection things should become a lot more bearable.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Getting close now...
Just about everything is now done except the final inspections and paperwork. We hope to be moving in by next Tuesday or Wednesday.
Saturday, May 03, 2008
Update
Well, the house is in. Power and water have been connected. The all-important air conditioner has been installed. Technically, it is nearly livable right now.
The septic tank must be dredged (part of the terms of the loan). The skirting must still be installed, and the porches built. Lots of little things on the inside need to be touched up and repaired from the move. We expect it to be about two more weeks before it's all over.
The septic tank must be dredged (part of the terms of the loan). The skirting must still be installed, and the porches built. Lots of little things on the inside need to be touched up and repaired from the move. We expect it to be about two more weeks before it's all over.
Friday, May 02, 2008
Remember the Dragon
"Daddy, is dragon's real?"
It was a question he had been asked before. Once, when tired of fielding a multitude of unanswerable questions from a little boy, he had simply said, "No, they're fictional."
"But was they real when dinosaurs were alive?"
"Maybe," he had answered. He'd give the kid that one. "I guess no one knows for sure."
"Was dragons a kind of dinosaur?"
He never ran out of questions. "No, I don't think so," he had answered. "I think they're something completely different."
So how would he answer this time? He looked around at the familiar forest that he had played in when he was a boy. A return to his old home had resurrected a lot of memories, and generated a million new questions for his son, who wanted to know about everything and wanted to fill in all the gaps about his father's childhood.
"Maybe," he told his son. "Some people think they are."
"I think they're real," his son declared.
"When I was a kid," he said, "I thought they were real, too."
No, that wasn't exactly right. He hadn't thought they were real, or even believed they were real. He had known it. As sure as he knew the sun would rise and set, as sure as he knew his own daddy would put him to bed with a Bible story every night, he had known that dragons--or one dragon, anyway--was real.
"Let's go this way," he said. His son followed him out of the clear field where bermuda grass grew, into the forest where trees grew thick and tall. He walked with the certainty of old familiarity to a tree that had grown with a hollow that curled out of the base of the trunk. Like a tiny wooden cave, the dark opening perhaps six inches across. "See that hollow there?" he pointed to it. "When I was a little boy, a dragon lived there."
"No way," his son protested. "A dragon can't live there. It's too small."
"It can if it's a magic dragon," he answered.
"Oh..." His son peered carefully at the opening, then looked through the surrounding forest. The wind sighed softly through the hundreds of oak and hickory trees that surrounded them. There was no other sound.
"Do you think he's still there?"
"I don't know...maybe. But he was a magic dragon, and he didn't come out when grown-ups were around."
"I never want to grow up." Another declaration that his son had made numerous times.
"I know how you feel," he said. "But everyone has to grow up someday. The important thing is that no matter how grown-up you get, you promise yourself that you'll never forget what it was like to be a kid."
"I never will," his son assured him.
"Good."
"Can I stay out here and play now?"
"Sure. When you're ready for supper just come back to the house."
He left his son there, playing beneath the trees, and walked back toward the house. Halfway across the grassy clearing he heard a distant rumble behind him, and turned to catch a shadowy glimpse of an enormous shape moving behind the trees. In the sky was a thin wisp of quickly dissipating smoke. He paused there, listening, and heard nothing else but the sound of his young son's voice, unintelligible in the distance, a shout, and perhaps laughter.
It must have just been an airplane that made the sound, flying invisibly high overhead. Only a thin wisp of cloud in the summer sky. Nothing but shadows cast by the shifting limbs as the wind gusted through the forest. He walked on to the house. He knew that if he went back, he wouldn't see anything, anyway. Nothing but his son playing by an old hollow tree. But he remembered.
He remembered.
It was a question he had been asked before. Once, when tired of fielding a multitude of unanswerable questions from a little boy, he had simply said, "No, they're fictional."
"But was they real when dinosaurs were alive?"
"Maybe," he had answered. He'd give the kid that one. "I guess no one knows for sure."
"Was dragons a kind of dinosaur?"
He never ran out of questions. "No, I don't think so," he had answered. "I think they're something completely different."
So how would he answer this time? He looked around at the familiar forest that he had played in when he was a boy. A return to his old home had resurrected a lot of memories, and generated a million new questions for his son, who wanted to know about everything and wanted to fill in all the gaps about his father's childhood.
"Maybe," he told his son. "Some people think they are."
"I think they're real," his son declared.
"When I was a kid," he said, "I thought they were real, too."
No, that wasn't exactly right. He hadn't thought they were real, or even believed they were real. He had known it. As sure as he knew the sun would rise and set, as sure as he knew his own daddy would put him to bed with a Bible story every night, he had known that dragons--or one dragon, anyway--was real.
"Let's go this way," he said. His son followed him out of the clear field where bermuda grass grew, into the forest where trees grew thick and tall. He walked with the certainty of old familiarity to a tree that had grown with a hollow that curled out of the base of the trunk. Like a tiny wooden cave, the dark opening perhaps six inches across. "See that hollow there?" he pointed to it. "When I was a little boy, a dragon lived there."
"No way," his son protested. "A dragon can't live there. It's too small."
"It can if it's a magic dragon," he answered.
"Oh..." His son peered carefully at the opening, then looked through the surrounding forest. The wind sighed softly through the hundreds of oak and hickory trees that surrounded them. There was no other sound.
"Do you think he's still there?"
"I don't know...maybe. But he was a magic dragon, and he didn't come out when grown-ups were around."
"I never want to grow up." Another declaration that his son had made numerous times.
"I know how you feel," he said. "But everyone has to grow up someday. The important thing is that no matter how grown-up you get, you promise yourself that you'll never forget what it was like to be a kid."
"I never will," his son assured him.
"Good."
"Can I stay out here and play now?"
"Sure. When you're ready for supper just come back to the house."
He left his son there, playing beneath the trees, and walked back toward the house. Halfway across the grassy clearing he heard a distant rumble behind him, and turned to catch a shadowy glimpse of an enormous shape moving behind the trees. In the sky was a thin wisp of quickly dissipating smoke. He paused there, listening, and heard nothing else but the sound of his young son's voice, unintelligible in the distance, a shout, and perhaps laughter.
It must have just been an airplane that made the sound, flying invisibly high overhead. Only a thin wisp of cloud in the summer sky. Nothing but shadows cast by the shifting limbs as the wind gusted through the forest. He walked on to the house. He knew that if he went back, he wouldn't see anything, anyway. Nothing but his son playing by an old hollow tree. But he remembered.
He remembered.
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